Obligatory

Life, and this is far from groundbreaking, works in funny ways. I'm a competitive person, although it doesn't show most of the time. Let's take where I work just as an example. The reason I work where I do is so I can focus on school and get a paycheck in the process. That was the plan anyway, and now I'm #2 in our site out of roughly 600 people and #20 nationally in our company out of approximately 6000 people. It adds stress, but I could win a free trip.

I had no outlet for my competitive nature after high school really. Since I have been in school I seem to compete against myself for my grades and others I guess you could say. I've made the dean's list every semester since I have been at Park. When I went back and was accepted in the fall of 2007, I started a separate blog to keep track of the experiences. I should have kept it.

This blog was the driving force in bringing me back to something I have had a passion for since I was in high school, and probably before that. Writing, and more specifically journalism, is something I feel a great deal of attachment to. I've worked very hard at it since returning to school in January of 2008. I've endured trials, tests and rewards. My wife and I bought our first house. We adopted a dog. I lost a job. I got another one. I lost that one and got my current one. We bought a Great Dane. Through those ups and downs, it is nice to begin to see some of the payoff.

Tonight I attended an awards ceremony for Missouri colleges. Our paper won sweepstakes, which is an easy way of saying all the points compiled for our efforts in about 30 categories were added up and were higher than any other school in our division. I won a few individual awards, but this sweeps award was pretty sweet. It's still sinking in what we accomplished. The sum of our parts equals the top paper in the state of Missouri among colleges our size. I'll let you in on a little secret, in the big boy division, the University of Missouri which is thought of as a premier journalism school, did not win. That's not to say it's not a quality institution for our profession, because it is, but this shows that you don't have to go to one of those schools to get a quality education and practical experience for journalism.

Next year myself and another of my colleagues will become co-editors of this paper. I only hope we can contribute on a higher level to bring home this award again next year, because right now it's pretty cool to be where we are at. Who knew several years ago when I was only dreaming of living in this town that I would not only be successful in my personal live, but finally moving in the direction of success in a profession I should have tried to get into in the first place.

How To Stop Being Me

When I go back and look at this blog, I figured something out. Number one, I wrote a lot when my wife and I were still boyfriend and girlfriend and had 300 miles worth of the Midwest between us. Number two, I wrote a lot when I worked at Commerce Bank because I had a ton of fucking time on my hands and I discovered (again) I really enjoyed writing.

I decided it would be a good idea to go back to school, get my stuff together and finish a journalism degree. Since then, my recreational writing has been reduced. I'm not happy about this. I don't want to say I had a loyal following, but I did. People enjoyed reading my stuff and it was encouraging enough to make me believe in myself. Now, I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore. Since I only write about once a month I wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't.

In my time of non-recreational writing, I've moved from reporter to sports writer to columnist to sports editor at my school newspaper. Not too shabby for the past year and a half. I even had ambitions to be editor of the paper. After some conversations, I hoping to realize that goal. I think I've lost focus on what put me on this path in the first place.

I've made mini resolutions about getting back on the writing train. So, I'm not going to do it now. If I don't post on here for another three weeks, so be it. If I start writing every day again that's fine too.

I just think it is time to whip myself back in to shape.

A Question of Faith

Just seeing the above trailer is enough to make you reconsider some things if you are Catholic and raising children. The cat is out of the bag now, so to speak, so you wonder how much of this is really still going on. However, having actually seen this documentary it is enough to break your belief in the Catholic church. It certainly broke mine.

Without a doubt a majority of priests were not child rapists, I certainly encountered none of this as a kid and to my knowledge, neither did any of my friends. It is challenging though to identify yourself as a part of an organization who remained complicit in one of the most disturbing and shocking revelations in the 20th and this century.

This isn't the first time that Catholicism has been under the gun for controversial reasons. If you know your history, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, it isn't that hard to find these days with all the information of the internet at your fingertips.

So, as I approach the age of 30, and while my wife and I are planning for kids getting my head around the prospect of taking my children before a church that not only turned a blind eye to these actions but circumvented the law and allowed these monsters to remain free and continue to practice their form of dirty religion is a challenge to say the least.

One thing you have to understand is that my family and my wife's family are both stout Italian (mostly) Catholic families. Our parent's generation isn't quite as hardlined as our grandparent's, however revealing to our parents that we are deciding to take our children in another direction as far as faith goes would be shocking to them.

So the question remains, how hard have people fallen into this with the Catholic church? Is it certain that Lutheran ministers or pastors at Baptist churches haven't raped children? Of course not. It's a big world out there and anything (unfortunately) is possible. Are people so fearful still of Hell that defying the church somehow puts them in an unjustifiable position with God? Does challenging a corrupt and problematic organization somehow cause you to fall out of favor with God? These I suppose are good questions to ask, but there lies the problem with the Catholic church in general. There is no room for such questions. This, coupled with the history, could make for one of the largest and long standing criminal organization with the best of intentions in the history of the world.

New Year

I am starting my sixth year on the blog which started on MySpace, then eventually migrated to its current residence when I figured out that MySpace was sooo immature. At least compared to Facebook. I'm not going to do a yearly recap, nor will I lay out resolutions I know I wouldn't be able to keep. Predicting the future was something I was never really adept at.

I will share that I am forming a new sports obsession that will no doubt get some ridicule from my friends. Soccer, or known to the other five billion people on the planet as football. Or futbol. I'm getting my toes wet by watching some Premier League games and learning the terminology, which is more difficult than I originally anticipated.

I figured since English football fans are so passionate about their clubs, I'd better pick a side and move forward. I figured cheering for Manchester United was like discovering the NBA and cheering for the Celtics in the 50's, or the Yankees in pretty much every decade in the past century. I thought Chelsea could have been a good choice, and they are one of the best clubs in the Premier League right now. But I think I'm going to settle on Arsenal. More on why later. For now, it's because their home uniforms are red, which works for me. It's my favorite color. Or colour.

Along with soccer my other Euro-passion will begin it's testing phase later this month. Formula 1 racing is something I have been very into for the past few years. I've gone on a few times about why it's much better than watching left hand turns all day, while beer swilling, redneck, racist homophobes cheer the "sport" on. So, much to be excited about despite college football commencing for the year.

School begins on Monday, so my schedule is about to become more hectic. Last semester about killed me, but the schedule will not be quite so grueling. To add to things, my unpaid internship in the Park Athletic Department begins this semester as well, which I am looking forward to with a ton of anticipation. Here is to hoping the great "go back to school" experiment pays off.

And just to show that turning 30 this hasn't detached me from being completely immature, I give you this...

Soundtracks

What is it about nostalgia that turns people on? Do you need to be a nostalgic person to find meaning in your past? I never understood people who were unable to draw some value from the places they have been. Maybe there are just some people who never admit it. There seems to be a certain sexiness to "living in the moment" and not being caught up in the past or the future. I would say that I am present with other people, but left to my own devices I spend a good portion of time reminiscing.

I would suppose that for most people who feel a sense of connection to events in their past they have certain touchstones that invoke feelings and memories. My gateway into these happenings is music. When I phase into new artists and albums I haven't heard, it seems like I am focused on forging ahead. When I dig through the library of my past, it isn't normally just to hear a tune I can't get out of my head.

People and places are trapped inside songs from a specific era in my life. When I listen to Liz Phair, I'm not just listening to "Whip Smart" because I enjoy it. Well, I do enjoy it, but I'm in my basement room at 1113 South Joliet Avenue in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I have long hair, I'm skinny, awkward and meeting new high school people who came from other middle schools. I'm meeting people I'm still friends with now, but I see them in the context of the time when sitting down with Liz. I'm in Sarah Keyman's basement, hanging out with Brienne and Kari, two people I'm still "friends" with. One more so than the other, but that isn't the point. The point is I can't just listen to this album and be detached, it has too much meaning. The music reminds me of the sounds and even the smells of the house 15 years later.

Five years ago I set out to make a compilation of music. I wanted to start it at a major fork in the road of my life. When I met the first girl I think I ever really loved, or at least took the time to try, and the splintering of my parents' marriage. Sort of the end of my "age of innocence." I figured it was significant at the time, but just never really knew why. Raging emotions, loss and discovery are major components of any teenagers life. My emotions were accelerated by the loss of trust in the failed marriage of my parents, and trying to recapture it in the powder keg of a teenage relationship. Maybe I'm too self-absorbed, and no one else looks at life like this with intense reflection and philosophical thought, but for me it is inescapable.

I don't have albums in my closet (literally), I have access to a time machine and to all the events in my life. Over Christmas break, along with cleaning and hanging drywall in our basement, I am going through all my old music and compiling them by these things which took place. I'm not sure why, but something happened with me over the past few months. I'm not sure what. Is it my quickly approaching 30th birthday? Is it because within X amount of years I'll be a father? I don't know. Somehow I doubt it. I don't fear either milestones. I think it is merely a coincidence, although my sister and her years of scholastic work would probably say otherwise...

I can't help but imagine a person who is into their life as much as I am would do it for any other reason than some self-gratifying and self-aggrandizing purpose. I feel the need to catalog my life, and I do it according to music. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Another Rebirth

So if you found your way back here, thanks for checking this blog out again. School and work has been a hurdle this semester to say the least, so the updates are few and far between on all points in my vast blogging empire (wink). I overextended myself quite a bit this fall, however I think I'll make it out in one piece, and the spring is shaping up to be more relaxed and interesting.

I also shed the blog of the great people who contributed for a spell here in recent months. Number one is that the participants are on our new Kansas City Politico blog that we will be getting off the ground with the new year. Number two is with the track record and nearly five year history of this being a personal blog, I figured it was time to get back to basics.

The blog, as some of you might remember, used to reside on my twice defunct MySpace page. To be quite honest, part of me wants to abandon Facebook as well. However, what keeps me hanging on is the direct communication between friends and family members I have limited face to face contact with. I'm not a Mafioso superstar, nor am I a prolific virtual farmer. I keeps it real.

Checkup

This semester I've found myself, I think. I've always known deep down I'm a writer. Now, whether I'm a good writer is yet to be seen. But the idea of me as a photographer or partaking in photography is something of a bug I've caught in the past couple months. I always saw it as something I had to do, or endure, when looking at my audit at Park. Now, it seems like I've find a bit of a passion. I haven't jumped in head first, or even feet first. I'd say my toe is in the water checking the temperature. I have no idea how I would use it, or what I could do with it. Sometimes it is good enough to be cognizant of something raw and new. There aren't many times in life when people can harness something like this and have the latitude to move with it. Right now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

It is, to my dismay, my season of a dosing of reality. I thought my time management skills were sharpened to a fine point, but it seems like next year I have some work to do in that arena. This is fine, because when I get comfortable and 'good' at something, I get lazy. Life has a funny way of making you evolve.

The Homestead

Things at home are evening out. I could do better to not be so snappy with Stephanie, and she's being strong and constantly showing she is the more mature person by being as patient as any human being has even been with a stressed out me. I haven't had time for anything other than things that are not particularly fun, so the residual frustration gets dumped on her. I am currently penning a document to the Vatican for early sainthood. Seriously.

My dogs are eating my house. I just thought I had to throw it out there. But they are the highlights of my life, other than my wife. It sounds cheesy, and maybe it's because I don't have children, but there is something to caring for something that is dependent on you. Missy is still digging, still posing as a menacing trickster in adorable fur, and Ted is my boy. He's over the 100 pound mark, as tall as I am and has the winningest personality of any dog I've met. He's the dude.

Anyway, a return to my old ways with this post. Completely self-absorbed like blogs are supposed to be. With finals looming I can't guarantee that I'll show my face until after the dust has settled, but there will be more frequency since I know the direction everything is going in.

Goodnight.

Back To Work: Boring Me

I haven't posted on the personal blog in awhile, so I figured what better way to make my illustrious return than writing about me and what I've been up to.

I'm knee deep in school and work, with little time for much of anything else in between. When I do get some spare time I watch some television and do some reading. I've made a few trips up to Lincoln, Nebraska to watch some football.

Some things I have been enjoying have been David Cross's "I Drink For a Reason," watching "Bored to Death" and "Dexter." Of course I'm never without my new iPod Touch and my litter of Podcasts. Some of my favorites are "WTF with Marc Maron," "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me," and of course my old standby "Smodcast" which is director Kevin Smith and his producer Scott Mosier talking for an hour or so. It's funny, trust me.

I realize this post was very boring. And short. Boring and short, just like me. But it's been awhile and I'm scared, so next time will be better. I promise :)