New Year

I am starting my sixth year on the blog which started on MySpace, then eventually migrated to its current residence when I figured out that MySpace was sooo immature. At least compared to Facebook. I'm not going to do a yearly recap, nor will I lay out resolutions I know I wouldn't be able to keep. Predicting the future was something I was never really adept at.

I will share that I am forming a new sports obsession that will no doubt get some ridicule from my friends. Soccer, or known to the other five billion people on the planet as football. Or futbol. I'm getting my toes wet by watching some Premier League games and learning the terminology, which is more difficult than I originally anticipated.

I figured since English football fans are so passionate about their clubs, I'd better pick a side and move forward. I figured cheering for Manchester United was like discovering the NBA and cheering for the Celtics in the 50's, or the Yankees in pretty much every decade in the past century. I thought Chelsea could have been a good choice, and they are one of the best clubs in the Premier League right now. But I think I'm going to settle on Arsenal. More on why later. For now, it's because their home uniforms are red, which works for me. It's my favorite color. Or colour.

Along with soccer my other Euro-passion will begin it's testing phase later this month. Formula 1 racing is something I have been very into for the past few years. I've gone on a few times about why it's much better than watching left hand turns all day, while beer swilling, redneck, racist homophobes cheer the "sport" on. So, much to be excited about despite college football commencing for the year.

School begins on Monday, so my schedule is about to become more hectic. Last semester about killed me, but the schedule will not be quite so grueling. To add to things, my unpaid internship in the Park Athletic Department begins this semester as well, which I am looking forward to with a ton of anticipation. Here is to hoping the great "go back to school" experiment pays off.

And just to show that turning 30 this hasn't detached me from being completely immature, I give you this...

Soundtracks

What is it about nostalgia that turns people on? Do you need to be a nostalgic person to find meaning in your past? I never understood people who were unable to draw some value from the places they have been. Maybe there are just some people who never admit it. There seems to be a certain sexiness to "living in the moment" and not being caught up in the past or the future. I would say that I am present with other people, but left to my own devices I spend a good portion of time reminiscing.

I would suppose that for most people who feel a sense of connection to events in their past they have certain touchstones that invoke feelings and memories. My gateway into these happenings is music. When I phase into new artists and albums I haven't heard, it seems like I am focused on forging ahead. When I dig through the library of my past, it isn't normally just to hear a tune I can't get out of my head.

People and places are trapped inside songs from a specific era in my life. When I listen to Liz Phair, I'm not just listening to "Whip Smart" because I enjoy it. Well, I do enjoy it, but I'm in my basement room at 1113 South Joliet Avenue in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I have long hair, I'm skinny, awkward and meeting new high school people who came from other middle schools. I'm meeting people I'm still friends with now, but I see them in the context of the time when sitting down with Liz. I'm in Sarah Keyman's basement, hanging out with Brienne and Kari, two people I'm still "friends" with. One more so than the other, but that isn't the point. The point is I can't just listen to this album and be detached, it has too much meaning. The music reminds me of the sounds and even the smells of the house 15 years later.

Five years ago I set out to make a compilation of music. I wanted to start it at a major fork in the road of my life. When I met the first girl I think I ever really loved, or at least took the time to try, and the splintering of my parents' marriage. Sort of the end of my "age of innocence." I figured it was significant at the time, but just never really knew why. Raging emotions, loss and discovery are major components of any teenagers life. My emotions were accelerated by the loss of trust in the failed marriage of my parents, and trying to recapture it in the powder keg of a teenage relationship. Maybe I'm too self-absorbed, and no one else looks at life like this with intense reflection and philosophical thought, but for me it is inescapable.

I don't have albums in my closet (literally), I have access to a time machine and to all the events in my life. Over Christmas break, along with cleaning and hanging drywall in our basement, I am going through all my old music and compiling them by these things which took place. I'm not sure why, but something happened with me over the past few months. I'm not sure what. Is it my quickly approaching 30th birthday? Is it because within X amount of years I'll be a father? I don't know. Somehow I doubt it. I don't fear either milestones. I think it is merely a coincidence, although my sister and her years of scholastic work would probably say otherwise...

I can't help but imagine a person who is into their life as much as I am would do it for any other reason than some self-gratifying and self-aggrandizing purpose. I feel the need to catalog my life, and I do it according to music. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Another Rebirth

So if you found your way back here, thanks for checking this blog out again. School and work has been a hurdle this semester to say the least, so the updates are few and far between on all points in my vast blogging empire (wink). I overextended myself quite a bit this fall, however I think I'll make it out in one piece, and the spring is shaping up to be more relaxed and interesting.

I also shed the blog of the great people who contributed for a spell here in recent months. Number one is that the participants are on our new Kansas City Politico blog that we will be getting off the ground with the new year. Number two is with the track record and nearly five year history of this being a personal blog, I figured it was time to get back to basics.

The blog, as some of you might remember, used to reside on my twice defunct MySpace page. To be quite honest, part of me wants to abandon Facebook as well. However, what keeps me hanging on is the direct communication between friends and family members I have limited face to face contact with. I'm not a Mafioso superstar, nor am I a prolific virtual farmer. I keeps it real.

Checkup

This semester I've found myself, I think. I've always known deep down I'm a writer. Now, whether I'm a good writer is yet to be seen. But the idea of me as a photographer or partaking in photography is something of a bug I've caught in the past couple months. I always saw it as something I had to do, or endure, when looking at my audit at Park. Now, it seems like I've find a bit of a passion. I haven't jumped in head first, or even feet first. I'd say my toe is in the water checking the temperature. I have no idea how I would use it, or what I could do with it. Sometimes it is good enough to be cognizant of something raw and new. There aren't many times in life when people can harness something like this and have the latitude to move with it. Right now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

It is, to my dismay, my season of a dosing of reality. I thought my time management skills were sharpened to a fine point, but it seems like next year I have some work to do in that arena. This is fine, because when I get comfortable and 'good' at something, I get lazy. Life has a funny way of making you evolve.

The Homestead

Things at home are evening out. I could do better to not be so snappy with Stephanie, and she's being strong and constantly showing she is the more mature person by being as patient as any human being has even been with a stressed out me. I haven't had time for anything other than things that are not particularly fun, so the residual frustration gets dumped on her. I am currently penning a document to the Vatican for early sainthood. Seriously.

My dogs are eating my house. I just thought I had to throw it out there. But they are the highlights of my life, other than my wife. It sounds cheesy, and maybe it's because I don't have children, but there is something to caring for something that is dependent on you. Missy is still digging, still posing as a menacing trickster in adorable fur, and Ted is my boy. He's over the 100 pound mark, as tall as I am and has the winningest personality of any dog I've met. He's the dude.

Anyway, a return to my old ways with this post. Completely self-absorbed like blogs are supposed to be. With finals looming I can't guarantee that I'll show my face until after the dust has settled, but there will be more frequency since I know the direction everything is going in.

Goodnight.

Back To Work: Boring Me

I haven't posted on the personal blog in awhile, so I figured what better way to make my illustrious return than writing about me and what I've been up to.

I'm knee deep in school and work, with little time for much of anything else in between. When I do get some spare time I watch some television and do some reading. I've made a few trips up to Lincoln, Nebraska to watch some football.

Some things I have been enjoying have been David Cross's "I Drink For a Reason," watching "Bored to Death" and "Dexter." Of course I'm never without my new iPod Touch and my litter of Podcasts. Some of my favorites are "WTF with Marc Maron," "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me," and of course my old standby "Smodcast" which is director Kevin Smith and his producer Scott Mosier talking for an hour or so. It's funny, trust me.

I realize this post was very boring. And short. Boring and short, just like me. But it's been awhile and I'm scared, so next time will be better. I promise :)

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

This past Sunday morning was a pretty rough one for me. Simply put, I mixed a few too many cocktails with several pounds of assorted meat the night before. It was quite the binge, I'd say. When I awoke Sunday morning (at 4:30AM, alone, fully clothed and lying diagonally on the bed, mind you), I felt less than horrible.

That aforementioned Saturday, I had hosted a party for some "friends" at work. Bad idea...I won't make the same mistake again. Essentially, these "friends" just wanted a place to get drunk and stupid. Meanwhile, I found myself wandering around my own house, trying to talk to all the different co-workers, and feeling completely alienated when doing so. I'm not really a part of their clique at work...I fully accept that, but it was, after all, my house and I shouldn't feel alienated there, right? Right.

I remember being eighteen or nineteen or twenty-two (sort of) and attending parties of this caliber. They weren't really fun then, either, but they were at least a bit more acceptable. It was always sort of an "I don't care who I'm with as long as I'm drunk/stoned/whatever" atmosphere. I like to think I've grown way up. Fortunately, I've maintained some friendships from that era of my life. Unfortunately, there are still people out there my age and older who are a part of that crowd.

None of this is really news to me and probably isn't worth a blog post either. It was an eye-opening experience, nonetheless.

For future reference, when the wife and I have people over it will be a two-couple max at a time. So, Stephanie and Zach (if you're reading this), be prepared to come entertain us in the near future; we'll return the favor by providing you our full attention. Sorry, Zach--no Bacon Explosion--ever again.

BFF,
JFW

You Say Tomato...

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel stuck in the middle? Most of the time I feel like a man shouting in an echo chamber when it comes to my conservative versus liberal friends and family members. I'll get emails from my Dad telling me how my guns I don't own will be taken away. I used to get emails saying how George Bush was listening to my phone calls and I should be worried. Because telling my wife to pick up bananas at the store is important information.

It's a culture of fear, and it is choking us to death. The public at large is taking their eye off the ball while casting stones at one another. Middle age white men line the streets and take the day off work to protest tax increases that didn't, and might not happen. Gay men and women march to protest their right to be married. Why are we waiting for a pat on the butt from a government we all say we don't trust? Why do we feel the need to be validated by something we dislike?

More questions than answers, which is a roadblock for everyone. The path to resolution is paved with an easy answer these days. Watching white men over history try and protect what their idea of American should be is appalling in history books. It's even more astounding watching this generation claw at it as it slips away. Latina women on the Supreme Court, a black guy with supposedly no birth certificate in the White House, and affirmative action taking their jobs. It's enough to make you think we white guys are about to be lined up next to dinosaurs and Dodo birds.

Back to everyone freaking out and attacking the people on the other side of the fence... I'll leave you with this. When talking politics these days, it's not about which political party is going to screw you. It's about when and both sides with their hands on the hot poker in your backs side will choose to shove it in.

I've got something to look forward to.

Going to see Neko Case with my wife coming up later this month, and I'm pretty pumped up about it. Here is a 20 minute interview with her. The DJ, or host if you will, is your garden variety broadcast douchebag, but the live performance with her bandmates is pretty cool. If you've never heard Ms. Case, or didn't know who she is, you should check her out.

Enjoy!