Sports Guy

Current mood: geeky
Category: Sports

Ok, so most of the people that read my blog probably won't really be interested in this update, well, because it's all sports related. So readers be warned, this is for my own personal benediction...

Currently I'm on the receiving end of endless scorn around the office because the face of the franchise (the Bean Town Sox) jumped ship down the coast to the dreaded yankees. FYI, you'll never see that word capitalized on this blog. Ever. Anyway, any sort of discussion regarding sports always gets converted over to talking about Nebraska football. Let me tell you, nothing gets me going like a good arguement about college football. Of course since my team has had a bad couple of years every hater out there smells blood and always goes in for the attack on my team. I went to a poker tournament and some guy I didn't even know who claimed to be a Missouri fan (although I can't imagine anyone outside of that state wanting to be associated with that team, anyway) was giving me schit about Nebraska losing to Missouri for the second time in about, oh gee I don't know, 30 frickin' years or so. I guess when some team makes you it's beotch for the better part of three decades it's hard to let it go.

Back to my plight at work. I have a fairweather fan, claimed to be a yankees fan, was truely a White Sox fan (I had to find this out from his brother last ('04) summer). And a rabid Iowa Hawkeyes fan. The both of them like clubbing me every day at work because my teams are all sort of currently looking like crap or headed in that direction. In no particular order...

1. Nebraska Corhuskers
2. San Fransisco 49ers
3. Duke Blue Devils
4. Boston Red Sox

With the exception of Duke (because they are ALWAYS good) and Nebraska flirting with being on the upswing, I have no end in sight when it comes to the storm of comments when it comes to my sports teams. I admit, I was spoiled for quite some time with most of my teams experiencing good fortune. I have the distinction of saying that I've witnessed all of my teams winning out in their respective sports, in some cases multiple times. So I suppose I'll take it on the chin, since Mr. Hawkeye's fan has never seen a National Championship, and Andre has to live with the shame of being a fairweather fan. Ladies if you're still holding on to this entry this far down the line, first, contratulations, secondly, there is no bigger shame around the office than being labeled a fairweather fan if you're a sports guy, like myself and 80he guys in my area at work. Andre is the messiah of fairweather fans for the record.

Anywho, just a "short" rant about what I've been dealing with the past couple days. Not to mention a lady from the Garden State who is an actual yankees fan printing me off funny jokes from the internet placed on my desk at 8:02 in the morning. Haha! I love the smell of bad jokes in the morning!

Goodnight!!

Currently listening : Capture/Release By The Rakes Release date: 27 September, 2005

Happy Today

Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Just a quick hit....

I'm in a great mood today. How could I not be? It's only a few days until Christmas and I'm about the biggest 25 year old kid you can find when it comes to that day.

I'm happy even though my team let go (according to the owner) the "face of our franchise." Way to be...

Anyway counting down... 8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1 (not everyone will get that)

Currently listening : Welcome to Jamrock By Damian Marley Release date: 27 October, 2005

Day to Day

Current mood: good
Category: Life

It's a Monday night, and for as bad as the day started off it sure ended up to be sort of a nice one. I pulled out of my funk around 11am this morning when I heard that I closed the most deals in my department last month and that I'm having a pretty decent month for December as well. Also, I got a nice little eCard from Stephanie, she always knows when and what to do to cheer me up when I really need it.

I downloaded a lot of cool new music this afternoon. That type of thing always brings a smile to my face when I find some good tunes. Narrowing down what type of mp3 player I want to replace my dinosaur that's next to my printer right now. I'm thinking about going and getting it the day after Christmas, since I have that day off. I know that's crazy for Mr. Anti Shopping, but a nice deal on something like that never hurts.

That week should be short at sweet, since I have Monday and Friday off. I took Friday off because that's my next trip down to KC. I'm very very excited, not only to surprise Steph with what we are doing to do for New Year's Eve, but also the second half of her Christmas present. Even though part of it may not be here (damn backordered stuff, boo). Looks like I'm picking up some vocab there, annnywaay... It should be another great weekend in a whole entire year of great weekends down there.

Anywho, I came up here to get in the mood to go to sleep, and now I think I'm there.

Sianora!

P.S. Example of good music listed below...Said to be one of the most unknown influencial bands for the past 30 some odd years. They're old, but don't sound like it...check it out.

Currently listening : In Space By Big Star Release date: 27 September, 2005

The Latest

Current mood: annoyed
Category: News and Politics

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/12/20051217.html

Read this if you like. If you can still stand behind our President, you're crazy. He says that terrorists are attacking our way of life and threatening the world we live in since September 11th. Oh really? In my opinion the only ones attacking our "freedom" and "our way of life" since that day have been the politicians. So spying on our citizens is the best way to now stop terrorists from attacking our country? So when my aunt and uncle move to England does that mean if I call them that my international phone call is subject to any sort of monitoring? If you didn't hear this week that the NSA has been monitoring hundreds maybe even thousands of international phone calls without any sort of permission, well, it's going on. After reading this article you can see that it was our Pres's call to go ahead with it too. As if the support for him could take another shot (even though approval polls were up this week after his Iraq speeches). Anyway, back to my hypothetical situation. I have no criminal record, and both my aunt and uncle are government employees! Maybe better to monitor them, if that's how you think. Anyway...

So the Patriot Act (which does incredibly more damage than it does good) is about to go down. One can only hope that an act that was seemingly rushed through to "help" our unending plight with terrorism was finally looked at, and some thoughtful lawmakers stopped and said "Hey, maybe this isn't the way we should be doing things?"

Ok, so I know through most of the article you are saying that "Hey, he says that it was all kosher, it was consistent with the law and the constitution. They have to have a clear link between these people and prospective terrorist members or cells overseas right? He's not lying is he??" Oh gee, we've never acted on misguided information or flat out incorrect information. Or not acted on intelligence that clearly stated WE COULE BE UNDER ATTACK FROM AL-QAEDA WITH THE USE OF AIRPLANES USED AS BOMBS. That's not the exact quote, but you know what I'm saying. So it was such a clear line between these monitored calls and terrorists, why the huge cover up? Why is this information that people should not have known? If we live in a world where we have to be informed to prevent the onslaught of terrorist attacks, why shouldn't we know that they are monitoring calls between suspicious parties?? Draw your own conclusions on that one. And how it correlates to "keeping consistent with the Constitution?" It's all interpretation, so go your own way on that.

Also note the amount of time it took to give this speech, and how many time she mentioned September 11th. Sure the topic is terrorism, but he's sure quick to not let you forget what will happen if you don't let him do what he wants. He does have your best interests in mind, remember?

Also keep in mind that during this whole time, if you do your research that top NSA officials did not want to participate in this practice. Basically what you have are Bush sympathizers backdoor-ing the superiors who instructed them not to take part in what has been going on.

So how do we bounce back and forth between protecting our civil liberties and protecting ourselves from terrorism? If I could answer that you'd be watching me on every major news outlet and not reading this on fucking my space, (obvious). Sure you have to dip your toes on both sides of the water, but how far does this all go? How far can the government reach into your way of life and file it under the category of "I'm protecting your civil rights?" These things don't happen overnight folks; it takes months, years, and different administrations to carry out these things. I'm not saying we are becoming a dictatorship, because that's just plain crazy, it'll never happen. However, you can see how things are falling into place if you open your eyes to what is going on. Is the threat really that bad? We don't know what to do. I feel like we are lost when it comes to terrorism. I don't feel any safer because my eyes are open to how the world is working now. We aren't indestructible. We aren't invincible. If anything we are going starkly in the opposite direction.

I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, because I still feel sick and terrible about the events that happened on 9/11, and if it ever happened again it would be a terrible tragedy. However, when you look at what we are spending money on, intelligence that doesn't work or is false, wars that have no end in sight with countries that had no single missile or weapon that could have attacked us. Of course they harbor terrorists; every country in that region does it!! Jesus people, what are we doing here? Sure we get a great foothold in the region, we snuff out terrorism in that area and we are in the middle of shitstorm because every fundamentalist Muslim in the area has their crosshairs smack dab between our eyes. The idea of terrorism is not to face us head on, it never has been! They won't attack us where it's obvious, and it won't be over in Iraq. They know now that they have no problems attacking us on our own soil. I've read a few books on the Islamic religion and its beliefs after 9/11, and the people that are the ones fighting this war against us and our way of life are not going to stop. They are not going to stop fighting us until every one of them is dead. These people are willing to die for what they believe in. Are we all so ready to do the same? It makes me sad every time I see another young life taken in this war that's taking place. Sure they signed up for the job, but don't you think you'd want to believe that we wouldn't send them to war if it weren't completely necessary?

Right now the terrorists are winning. I know that statement is overused, but this is what they want. We hear this everyday, the FOX NEWS ticker every morning at work tells me that the terror alert is ELEVATED. I've never seen that change. Why? There are a ton of reasons, but I'm not sure if I'm running out of room.

Here's the long and short of my drivel listed above. I was against going to war in the first place, but now we're in it and we have to stick with it and come to the best possible ending. I'm all for stopping terrorism, but were we really that worse off when the Presidential power shifted from Clinton to Bush? It happened on his watch. I don't care what you say, well I do, but I have a strong opinion about this, but this Patriot Act and so on and so forth wasn't even Bush's or his administrations idea! It was something that was concocted under Clinton, but then it was interpreted by Bush and made an ineffective mess. Sure we had our terrorist issues under Clinton, but not as bad as 9/11. So who do you blame it on? You can't blame it on anyone, and that's the problem this country has. All they want to do is sit around and point fingers at who dropped the ball to further their agenda, and that in itself is very sad. Nothing will get solved because of all the government infighting. We can set aside differences to take care of what we need to take care of. Also, as long as we remain a presence in "their land" we will continue to be the subject of terrorist acts and threats. They see us being over their as a slap in the face. The area has been fighting each other tooth and nail since the beginning of time! Are we so big that we think we can stop it? I hope not.

Currently listening : Hunky Dory By David Bowie Release date: 28 September, 1999

Back to it

Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Ok yeah, so it's been awhile since I've put up a real entry on this thing. I guess you could say I've been adjusting to a new schedule and then juggling all the activities up here (of which there have been many) and going to Kansas City a total of 3 times in just a hair over a month. So, needless to say I'm due for a weekend of not doing much. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing I'd rather do than drive 5 hours to see Steph (seriously) but every once in awhile you need time to yourself and away from things and people in general. The next two weekends are Christmas and New Years which are shaping up to be quite eventful. I'm especially excited for New Year's, I'd spill what's going on, but it's a surprise

So anyway, I've had a very good month. I've met my brother's adoptive family, had some nice times with my family, spent a lot of excellent quality time with my girlfriend, and closed out an incredible month of work.

I guess I'm not in the mood to be too detailed about any of these things, other than the fact that after this weekend of "recharging" i'm going to be looking ahead to the end of the month. So once again, it may be awhile before there's an update, but you never know with me of course.

Currently listening : Plans By Death Cab for Cutie Release date: 30 August, 2005

Just in case you didn't know...

Current mood: excited
Category: Blogging

I am still here, just haven't had a lot to write about lately...

I'm sure I'll have some updates soon, maybe after I get back from KC this weekend.

Currently watching : The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Criterion Collection (2-Disc Special Edition) Release date: 10 May,

Reminder

Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween. These are most of the holidays that we associate with the word itself. I've always been a person that's been a little off beat, I've got no issues admitting this. Today has always been one of my favorite holidays. Ever since I was old enough to understand (in some way) the sacrifices that people in my family and individuals in other families across the country have made for me and my way of life, I have appreciated a day like today. With so many things going on in the world, and as complicated as the national and international political climate has grown we need to be reminded of those who have and who currently are serving to protect our freedoms. You may not agree with what is going on in the world right now, and you may not agree with the fact that our troops signed up for a job that our president has sent them to do, you still have to thank them for what they do. They willingly place their lives on the line so you can disagree with what our leaders have decided to act upon, unfounded reasons or not.

For the most part, our generation doesn't know what it's like to have to give up your friends and your family to travel thousands of miles to fight and die for a belief, an ideal that you may not fully understand. Am I saying that my generation is soft? No, I wouldn't go that far as to say that my generation could not rise to the occasion if we were called upon to do so. What I am saying, is that we do not have the events that our grandparents did over 60 years ago to draw from. I think that deep down when you put aside all of the disagreements, all of the heated political discussions you may or may not take part in, we are all under the same banner. Like it or not, that person that you disagree with is just as American as you are.

Being united is truely a magnificant sight. It's a shame that the only time we can stand united is in the face of tragedy. Of course, any civics or government class will teach you is that the friction created from this is what keeps us balanced. You can't hide the fact people disagreeing create everyday what we stand upon. The reason our country was founded was because we disagreed, we stood up and fought for something we believe in. Even if it was a bunch of middle class white men who didn't want to pay taxes and/or owned slaves. That's a whole other issue of course. But I digress from my point.

I do, however, disagree with President Bush using today and his opportunity to speak to call his detractors traitors and unpatriotic. What is treacherous is censoring the basic human right to have a free thought and a free mind. If the President doesn't like what people say about him, maybe he should stop pointing the finger at everyone else and own up to the fact that we made a mistake. A large one. People have died because of this mistake. And while I fully believe that yes, the troops do sign up for the war they are in, you would pray that the people in charge would only put them in harms way if only completely necessary. However, think about this one for awhile. Had we done the same thing to Hitler that we did with Sadaam would we have had to fight the war that we did? Had Sadaam had the resources that Hitler did, would the result have been the same? Once again, i'm getting off the subject.

Today is a day for the men, women, and children who have died in the name of liberty and protecting your ability to live and breathe as a free human. It's for every person that has laced up a pair of boots and faced a faceless enemy, it's for everyone who died on and survived September 11th, it's for everyone that has died in a foreign embassy in Africa, it's for the people that have grieved for the ones that have fought and died in every war or battle this country has been involved it. It's for you and me. So, even though the day is almost over, it's not too late to stop in the middle of what you are doing and realize that it is on the backs of others sacrificing their lives you can read what I am writting. Someone you have never met has given you the gift to do what you have done today. No matter how boring or monotonous or mundane. Don't ever forget that, remind yourself as often as you can. Everytime you are driving behind an elderly man driving 10 miles an hour under the speed limit with a veteran's license plate, remember that he has seen people die for you, he's killed for you so you could complain about his driving. Otherwise if he didn't, you may be doing it in German.

Think about it...

Get On The Bus...(Not an ode to Spike Lee)

Today has been a supremely good day. For some reason I've been riding on a confidence level this week that hasn't been matched for quite some time. I'm doing very well at my job the past couple weeks, which is something I'm happy with. About a month ago I was told that I would be working on a special project until the end of the year, therefore thwarting any plans to win the trip that is up for grabs in March to Cancun. Hopefully there will be a Cancun when I get there...anyway. Now it looks to be swinging back in the other direction. Let's put it this way, since I've been working for HSBC I've won every trip that I've been eligible for, and I'm not planning on breaking that streak this time. Nothing would be better that to sweep my girlfriend away to a tropical destination that's on my companies dime.

Also, I'm feeling confident about things in my personal life. I feel like the moving down to KC is more a question of when than a question of if. Speaking of which, I'm going down there this weekend and fully expect to have a great time (like always). I'd have to say that this is always the highlight of my month without a doubt. We always have so much fun doing stuff or doing nothing. Gotta love that.

Anyway just a quick little hit before I'm outta here for the weekend. Anyone have a problem with my profile picture? Well watcha gonna do when my 24" pythons run wild on you??!! (Ok, so I'm a huge nerd).

My problem with the world you live in

I love the people I work with. I also love the fact that most people from my "red state" are just that. Now, I hate the catigorization of my state and everyone in it supporting the current regime and all it's cronies, let's just get that one out on the table. I love having to defend myself, however. Nothing excites me more when I'm in the middle of a discussion of something that I know more than that of a pedestrian level. I love it even more when I'm facing down the barrel of a gun of 6 of my closest collegues and I'm standing alone. Nothing gets me going in a political discussion more than having my back up against the wall and shooting down all of my would be detractors. Sometimes, the rush of it is so great, I feel like I should make a career out of it.

Today I learned that people did not pay attention in government or civics class in college or high school. It has also occured to me that people like to not read and just get everything they know about the world from the esteemed Fox News Channel. Today was the day that we were going to Clinton bash and blame him for terrorism and for the September 11th attacks. Now, with more that four years behind us, you'd think that some of the feelings may have died down from said event. Not so, and rightfully not so in my opinion. I will say this, that people that vote that are my age are dangerous people. People that voted for President Bush are people that, for the most part, have not been paying attention. Now, I've been quoted as saying that I voted for Bush this year, and I know I have. Basically it has been to avoid funny looks and major discussions where I didn't want them. However, now I'm not so inclined to go that route.

This debate today was a 2 hour free for all this afternoon with everyone blaming Bill Clinton for the job that was carried out on 9/11. If anyone had the slightest clue as to what had happened, I guarante that no one would be on the opposite side of the fence as me. Honestly. It would take to long to transcribe everything from that lengthy discussion, way too long. I will just say this, that every time they accused Clinton or his administration for something based on nothing (or what they heard from some conservative hack on Fox) I backed up with fact and source by who said it, and when it was said. If you look at the money that was spent of terrorism funding and counterterrorism funding during the years of 1993 to 2000 you would change your tune. The long and short of it is, is that Bush and his people were handed the keys to a brand new Ferrari and didn't even open the doors to smell the leather. The Homeland Security Councel? Thought up by to CLINTON appointee's, not anyone on Bush's list. I didn't even get into the two previous presidents' track record. More American and American soldiers on Regan's watch than Bush Sr. and Clinton combinded. God bless the Great Communicator.

I would love to go on for days and days about facts and why I'm right (because I am), but it's just not worth it. My point is this...All I know is that political discussions are completely wasted on most people that I am surrounded by. It's very sad, that people are able to vote knowing so little. Someday someone will ask where it all went wrong. Fear is a very powerful thing, and you are all getting a big dose of it when you turn on the TV. The way everyone talks, it's the end of the world right now. The world is what you go out and make of it, not what Bill O'Reily and Sean Hannity tell you.

Yes, the album below is a bit juvinille, but I never really grew out of my taste for heavy music sometimes. And I think the title is appropriate for the content of this post.

P.S. I love the fact that neo conservatives like Ann Coulter are now retracting how they feel about Bush because he's a big idiot. If you can't agree with that, you have been living in Outer Mongolia since 5 minutes before August. I.E. hiring unqualified people into the Supreme Court, and bumbling through Katrina and Rita rescue operations.

By the way, if you don't know who Ann Coulter is, aka Satan in a blond wig, I'll pimp her website a bit www.anncoulter.com

Fear and Loathing in South Dakota

Every day is something different, and yet it is all very much the same. You wake up, you get ready to face the day, you live it, then you prepare for the next day. How much you live in the moment is up to you every day. You decide whether or not you keep your thoughts and are mindful of the present, or you look too much to the past and reminisce just a little too much. Well, here has been my issue. I live too much for the future. I've been so concerned with what is down the road that I can't even see what is right in front of me. I'm so "futurecentric" that I think I somewhat sabotage the present at the expense of making what's on the horizon a better place. I've come to the conclusion that this is the wrong way to live. There is only so much that is within your grasp or power and any given moment. There is even less that can sometimes be harnessed for the future. My new outlook is that you cannot build a better future if you aren't paying attention to the road that you are paving right now. Sounds sort of corny doesn't it? I guess if there is one thing I do right it's not take myself too seriously.

I'm a control freak. These days, I can't tell if I'm correcting that issue, or if I'm just doing a good job of concealing it. A few things were out of my immediate control the past few days. One was situational, the other was internal. People that are not close to me will have no idea what I am talking about, because they don't see the controlling part of me because, quite frankly, only the people that I love the most have ever been privy to one of my biggest vices. Maybe not exactly a vice, but the definition is all what you make of the word. It's hard when you really just have to let things be and take their course. If a certain thing is meant to happen, then it will. If it isn't, then of course it won't. It doesn't take a genius to come to this conclusion.

What I am vowing to do is to not place myself in the situations that I put myself in sometimes. How much can you control? What do you have to relinquish to really push forward? I'm trying very hard to find a balance somedays. I'll say that the situational issue was involving someone I care very deeply for, and the internal struggle was trying to determine how to handle the situation. I've never been a person to think out how I'm going to react or feel. To give a small detail, something somewhat terrifying was going on at the moment, and I did nothing really but fuel the fire at the time. Of course after things had died down all was forgiven, however living in the moment you have to be sure to monitor what you are doing and know how it is going to affect the other person. I slipped up, I didn't do excatly what I set out to do. Basically, I let my emotions get the better of me for the first time with this person. It's really not as huge of a bad situation as it may seem, however this is where my fork in the road is.

If I had to go back and look into all the relationships that I've ever had and tried to find a point where things started to slip away from me, and my general insanity started to take a toll on who I was with, I couldn't find one darn issue that started the ball rolling. Now, I've been doing things differently with this one and I really see no reason to change at this point. I'm going to remember how I felt when the situation happened, I'm going to remember what it felt like when she told me how she felt afterwards, and I'm going to remember what I felt like a couple hours later when I talked to her again.

Have you even been sitting watching something on television and it was too embarassing or uncomfortable to watch, so much so that you had to change the channel? I've been doing that in real life for a very long time. Now it's time that I sort of put the remote down and sit on my hands and live in the moment and not dodge bullets. This isn't to say that I'm going to dwell on every little thing that happens, not at all. I'm just going to do less ignoring. How's that?

And now for a less vague tangent...

We get precious few days together every month, and I'll have to admit that a lot of the time I was down there last I could only really focus on how much it would hurt to leave. That started the day I got there until I left. I spent almost the entire time worrying about how much I would miss her while I was actually with her. How insane is that? I can tell you that it's not the way I want to spend the rest of our time together, and I'm glad the lightbulb when on over my head, because I want to get the most out of every minute and second that I am with this person, not worry about how it's going to be when I'm not. It's unfair to her, and it's unfair to me also. I don't want to get to the point of thinking that it's too hard and not worth the effort that both of us are putting into this relationship. This is one of the most positive (ok fine, I've got to stop downplaying this) is the most positive thing that has happened to me ever. I'm not going to let my BS stand in the way of something that is right for once in my life.

Am I giving myself too much of a pep talk on this? Does it seem like I have to pump myself up to be ready for the next several months to a year? No. This is me correcting 10 years worth of mistakes and miscues and turning something great into something that can last for a very very (I think you know what I mean) long time. I know this is going to be vague to almost anyone that reads this, but I hope your are catching the point of this and not just trying to get the juicy scoop on what's going on with your's truely (har har). I just feel awake in this one, I don't feel like I'm just going through the motions anymore. I finally feel just good and alive these days, and it's really a wonderful feeling. I just want it to last, that's all...

Increasingly uncomfortably unfortunatly at home...

...which I guess isn't a really bad thing. It's just the more and more my travels take me south of the border (Missouri that is) I feel more and more distant to my native state. It's almost like my body and my brain are hopelessly in South Dakota for the next 10 months to a year and my heart stays in Kansas City every time I come back. Of course my family and friends and all my creature comforts are here in good ol' SoDak, it's just that i'm ready to leave now. The grand master plan is to save gobs of money for the move and other logical steps in my move. So, while the time will more than likely go be slowly, I know that when the time gets here, it's going to be here in no time and couldn't have gotten here fast enough.

I know it's going to be a big adjustment, I just want to be ready in every way. I know you can't prepare for everything, it's just the things that are within my reach I want to be in order.

I don't think I'm doing this on purpose, but I really have a hard time working up the desire to make much of an effort to hang out with friends on a regular basis. I've been keeping to myself a lot lately. It's not because of you know who, I think there is more to it than that. I just think that (how typical) at 25 I'm finally ready for that next step in life. You don't see it coming, you just sort of fall into it. Every step has been exactly what I've hoped for, except for it being a little more complicated that the average Joe's life. I'm ok with that, the last 10 years have been nothing but normal for this chap.

I know I'm in a good situation though, I don't want to discount that and my logical side won't let the conductor of Fantasy Land get too out of control. Although the more and more I see her and the connection grows, the wiff of Fantasy Land gets increasingly harder to ignore. I'll just have to do a good job of staying in control (to an extent, of course you always have to let the situation dictate too). You just have to man the ship the best way you know how, and I'm starting to trust myself a little more as the days/weeks/months go on. I'm confident in what we've gained and accomplished so far. I'll have to tell you it's further along and better than I thought it would be the first time I went to see her after 4 years.

I think one of these days I will break down and post what happened over the course of the last (wow!) 6 years of knowing this person. However, knowing me and my protective self, I doubt it.

Hey, have to keep my "readers" coming back right??

Blood on the Inside

So here is a little ditty about me. Today was a day that went completly downhill from the moment it started. Here we go...

First, I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm went off. If I know the day is going to go bad, that's usually the first sign. It's usually a sign of me being anxious about something. This week, it could be any number of things. I honestly don't remember doing a single thing before I got to my desk and turned the computer on, I could have showered, maybe I didn't, who knows. Did I remember my lunch? Who knows that either. My manager is pretty entertaining, he sounds like that guy from VH1's Best Week Ever the has the gap in his teeth and going bald. He's the one that's way too excited about everything. He's going to the Phillipines next Thursday and that's all he can talk about. It's a great opportunity, they almost sent me to India last October and I was all for it, it's just that they scrapped the idea two weeks before I was supposed to leave, so I had a passport and visa for nothing. I've since lost my passport, funny huh?

Anyway, today was not a good day for Zach/peer relations. Everything that everyone said to me today drove me absolutely bananas. Usually I'm not like that and am pretty easy to get along and deal with. However, today you didn't want to know me. I was pretty short with all my customers that I dealt with today. The ones I'd talked to before I'm sure were wondering what was up with my today, but oh well.

There is this girl that sits behind me, she's very nice and I really enjoy talking to her during the day. Today, it was a bit of a different story. I guess when you are irritated she has one of those personalities that really enhance your mood. I think she picked up on this late in the day, drew me a little picture of a happy face on a sticky note and put it on my day planner and left me alone until the end of the day. Smart girl.

The one that sits across from me constantly bugged me today about how hard it is to have to leave my girlfriend everytime I see her. Thanks, like it's not hard enough to begin with the week of leaving KC, but she just would not shut up about it. Like I don't miss her enough as it is, I have to have co-workers rub salt in the wound. It makes it a little harder to slip back into the normal daily routine when all I want to do is walk out, gas up, and spend a few more days with her, but anyway, that's another entry in itself.

The end of the day was just more grating that the first half. I have no idea why, it's just when I get in a mood, everyone is annoying. I really hate being in that frame of mind, not exactly what I enjoy. I think I did a decent job of putting up a defensive persona today though.

I'll tell you what, I haven't gone a Saturday without doing something in awhile. I can bet you that come 3:31 I won't be doing a darn thing until I go back in Monday afternoon until noon til 4 or so...I'm such a slacker.

Stay Out

Ok, so this will be short, sweet and for my eyes only...

I want to use this as a vantage point for future reference. So my girlfriend of 5 or 6 months/friend for 6 years, has this diary on a website. She's been keeping it for quite some time. I always used to read it when we were together, but I hadn't kept up with it until we got back together. She locked it up almost be request because I didn't think I was ready to read what went on before me. Well, she undid it today and it took me not less than 15 minutes of reading to discover something that I didn't want to. It's this guy she used to date, and that she's still friends with. Is it weird that for 2 minutes every once in awhile that this bothered me before? Now it's sort of creeping in and bugging me even more. It has nothing to do with the guy himself, i've never been a jealous guy, I know who I am and what I'm worth. It's just how she feels, that's what gets me I'm thinking.

I've been left by someone for an ex when after we had moved in together and things had been patched up and we were moving to the point of getting back to being very good for each other again. Just like that, poof, I was on the outside and wondering where I had gone wrong. So excuse me for being a little hyper-sensitive about this issue.

I don't want her to stop being friends with this person. I firmly believe in the fact that friends are friends, and you can't come between that, especially good friends. I'm just torn right now, and the fact that there is distance between us makes it that much worse.

I have a complex about not being able to measure up to the people that I love the most. I'm not sure that I can provide everything that this person deserves, or at least more than what the other guy can do.

I don't want to push the issue too much and cause a rift, but I always have to know, I always have to dig a little bit deeper. I've always sacrificed personal piece of mind in my relationships than for the greater good of the union itself. I guess that makes me a selfesh person. Or does it?

For the longest time I've always relied on the prospective of "looking out for #1, because no one else is going to do this." When am I going to abandon this and put down the weight of the world, and open myself to start a life with someone else. Maybe the only reason this whole thing bothers me is because it's pointing out one of my greatest shortcomings, and it hurts. I've been carrying hate and anger for too long. I just pray that I've figured out how to purge some of that and how to contain it when I do get mad, I really am dreading this person seeing my darker side. She says she wants to see all sides of me, but I don't know how ready she is sometimes.

Now that I've written that, I now know that what I read isn't what is bothering me, it's me that is bothering me. It seems like my journey isn't done quite yet. Maybe the curse of distance in this relationship is a bit of a blessing in disugise, so I can relinquish the stain that I've carried with me for so long. I want so badly to just release all of it. From my parents divorce, to being degrated by my father, physcially and emtionally, from even being picked on to being beat up by the kids in my neighborhood. I know it sounds like I should be on Dr. Phil or something, but you can't imagine having your ass kicked from the age of 6 to 13, having to go out and deal with that from the older kids in your neighborhood, to having the sanctuary of your home being anything but that, you know what I mean I'm sure.

I'm not saying I've had the toughest life, but I'm waiting for something to pan out that is positive. As I've said, my brother finding my family is the only positive thing to happen in a very very long time. Hopefully this thing with Stephanie will yield the same results, that's what I'm really hoping for. I'm not pushing it, because it seems to be working out naturally, and for that I'm happy. I just have to realize that I'm not and haven't been the only person in her life, just like I needed to get that fact through my head with all the others. I don't want to point fingers, but she can hardly stand to hear about anything that had to do with past girlfriends, much less read what I did tonight. But now after typing this, it's fine. It was a classic Zach over reacation, and I'm glad it's taken me only 20 minutes to realize this rather than days months or years, like it used to.

At the risk of being more rambly, I'm done.

So let the countdown begin

Ok, so how obvious can one post on my blog get, but I'm not sure if I care that much. I'm excited to go and see my girlfriend this weekend, what of it? Sure, it's going to make the week go slow, and the fact that I'm going to make up my hours during the week rather than just take vactaion time will make said week even longer. That's ok, I really don't mind that much, I know the end result when I get down on Friday afternoon will make it worth it. I could go on and on about how excited I am, but who wants to read that? Well, maybe one lucky reader out there

Today at work the entire system went down, so I only had to work half a day. Hurray! Not much else is going on, just wanted to kill a little time and give you all a little update. Aren't I nice?

You also may be wondering what else I'm excited about this week, well the new Liz Phair CD comes out tomorrow, which always gives reason to celebrate. Along with the album listed below, which is quite tasty. It'll be a Best Buy day tomorrow!

Sometimes

Sometimes there comes a point in your life when you reach a fork in the road. Ok, so that may be an aweful cliche, and maybe not the strongest way to start something like this off, however it does make sense if you look at the situation just a little deeper. When you get to a certain point, some decisions may become more obvious than others. Most times you many have no indication of what lies ahead on the choices you make durning the course of a day. Sometimes, you are able to catch a glimpse into something that you know will change your life.

For nearly 17 years now, I have been friends with someone that I consider to be one of 3 people (non family members) that have truely been "best friends" in my life. Now it appears that this one person will slip from the ranks. It's quite sad really, this person and I have shared a lot (I mean A LOT) of memories and turmoil over the better part of 2 decades. Most people have good lifelong friends that they speak with in passing, maybe every few to several months. This friendship was not like that. We have been in constant contact over that time period and have become close like brothers, but on the filp side of that, sometimes I don't even know who this person is. I would say that it has been dying a slow death, at least since January. I would like to think that friendships that are as close to brotherhood as one can get, wouldn't be disrupted by a (you guessed it) girl. I've tried to respect this person, and the relationship that they have. I just cannot stand idle any longer while I watch this person change someone that I know to be a very lighthearted and giving individual. This person is taking advantage of my friend, and she has him so blinded that he is will to bend over backwards for not only her, but her child as well. Take it from someone who has been there before, you need to go in with a little more caution that what he has done. He has almost taken this child as one of his own, and she won't admit to her friends that they are even dating. She even goes as far to tell co-workers that she doesn't want to date my friend. And when someone hears about this, and decides to tell him, he takes the side of his psuedo girlfriend. Nice, huh? I tried not to take sides, however it has become appearent that that approach is not the best course of action.

This friend and myself got into an argument this weekend, and I told him to lose my number, and I would do the same. Let's say that his biggest issue is not being truthful when it comes to what he thinks and how he feels about you, until it's convenient for him to bring it up. It's never, "hey man, this thing that you are doing is bugging me." No, it's always when you ask him for a favor of some sort, the thing he claims to love dishing out. This is all conditional. So, I decided that in this point in my life, all his crap, all his "girlfriends" crap, and the crap they generate as a little unit has no room in my life. I'm standing at the crossroads, as mentioned above, with one of the people that I am the closest to.

I can't envision myself staying attatched to an individual who has no sense of loyalty or no sense of decency to those who have shown him nothing but the aformentioned values. It sort of hurts, but it also feels good to finally let all that go. It almost sounds like I'm breaking up with a girlfriend, doesn't it? But I think when you do get to the point of knowing someone for that long, and you can't really remember what it was like to not be friends with this person, it's not that far from the truth.

I almost seem like I need to streamline what I have up here before I'm able to move on to the next phase of my life. As you can see, living at home has it's advantages when it comes to allowing yourself time for self examination. You have the ability to stop and let things pass you, so you can get a good look at them. Life for some people is always moving on to what is next, sometimes you need to let life breeze by you for awhile so you can get to the next stop on your terms.

Back to the situation at hand, my friend is losing everyone he has ever known, and fast. In the last six months he has managed to surround himself with no one (to my knowledge) but this girl and her daughter. Well, some of her family members, but that's always a given. One day, when he wakes up and realizes after she leaves him, which I have no doubt she will once the meal ticket that is my former friend dries up, and that all of his friends have moved on, he will continue to be a very lonely person. I'm not sure if at that point in my life I will feel sorry for him. This isn't the first time that he has gone through a phase such as this, just not to the extent or the severity that it has reached now. I know this has been sort of rambly but there is a lot to put out there. Sometimes, you just have to do that and let it go.

I don't feel like it's been a waste, it has taught me some things about myself. I know where I don't want to be in life, and that's miserable, which is a common thread with this person right now. I don't regret helping him through his years of living with a mom that was a codependent to a crazy drunk, I don't regret helping him with his issues when it came to dealing with his dad early on in his teenage years. I especially don't regret helping him cope the last three years after losing his dad to a heart attack. Maybe that's all that was left in the tank, to help him see his way through that until he decided to move on with his life. Maybe he's doing that, it's just from what I can tell, it's not the healthiest relationship to be in. But when you grow up under the roof that he did, and with the mother that he did, I'm sure he wouldn't feel right if he wasn't being abused or controled by a woman. I'm sure he'd make one hell of a case study.

All in all, sometimes you just have to say "It's time to move on."

Who said these things had to be long?

Just wanted to comment on the fact that it's a great day out, and I have the day off. Lucky me! I went and paid off my first ever speeding ticket today, and went and worked out. Very motivated!

Later, I'll be mowing the lawn and watching the Cheifs play. Suddenly, I have and adoptive AFC team to follow.

Anyway, I'll be sure to post more excited updates

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

Ok, so it's a Wednesday night and I have nothing to do. What's worse? I have nothing to do and I'm at home. Not like home like most of you think of it as, like home with my Mom. I'm just not fully adjusted to how this is going to work. I'm sure I won't be for awhile. I haven't lived here in quite some time. Nothing really seems to hold my interest, as far as what to do around the house. I can't exactly tell you what I did around the house when I lived with Cory (former roommate) but all I can say is that I didn't quite feel like this about things.

The only thing that actually keeps me going is that there is a valid point to all of this. Doing this now is going to make the future that much more worth it. I know I'll become accustomed to all of this, probably very shortly. I don't think that my feeling like this says anything about the situation, I think that any 25 year old that moved home would feel the same way. Unless you have issues with living on your own I guess. I think I could hook up my video game stuff, do that. However, it's still not really "gaming season" for me. I think that falls somewhere between pheasant and deer season in South Dakota, har har.

I'm just sort of restless with a lot of things right now, I think that the current living situation magnifies that quite a bit. I know my reasonable side will kick in sooner than later and rationalize the why in all of this, so it's not like I'm worried. Just thought I'd spill a little bit on here, while my Mom bakes chocolate chip cookies...haha. Jealous aren't you?

Elaboration

Ok, so I didn't exactly get into anything I was writting about last night. I got on and a few people decided to IM me so I was chatting at the same time as trying to do my update.

Like I said last night, the past week and a half/two weeks have been very hectic, at least under the surface. Usually when things become slightly chaotic in my head, it's news to everyone else. Call it my desire to not burnden anyone else with larger issues. It's not like this issues of mine are bad, per se, just makes for interesting thought.

Also, like I said last night, I couldn't have asked for a better time with Stephanie when she came to town now almost two weeks ago. You know what that means, almost down to two weeks until I go down there...I'm counting the hours. Instead of doing an in depth recap (my better half does that so much better anyway) I'll just stick to the fact that it was a great and relaxing weekend. Not for one minute did I wish I was somewhere else the entire time she was here, which made her leaving the next Tuesday all that much more tough. I will say this, I am a hell of a cook, haha. Well, I'm one for two anyway, in my opinion.

On the subject of moving back home. I guess that was something that needed to be done in my eyes. I'll be much better off when I do move down to the big KC if I can save a few g's over the course of the next year. So, another step taken in the "big plan." The next thing on the menu will be the job switch, which is something I'm really looking forward to, however my company likes to move at a snails pace, so I won't be holding my breath, but I know it's going to happen. Somehow I just have a feeling about all of this, and it's good for once.

I guess I'm going to open up a little bit about this person, since some people that read this are close and personal...Out of anyone I've ever dated or been with (whatever you'd like to call it), she has opened my eyes to a lot of things I never realized about myself. For the longest time after my parents divorce and my upheaval in my family and some poor dating decisions in the past, I really locked myself up tight as of late. I know that sounds like a terrible cliche, however I find that to be a very true and honest assessment of what is going on. Everytime I talk to her, share a moment, or see her it seems to cut away some of the barbwire fencing that I've had wrapped up around me for the past 10 years. I know I'm a guy, and it's seen as not very masculine to talk like this, but it is a very moving thing for me. It's amazing how much emotion you carry, and how long you carry it is equally astounding.

Even thought it's a period of adjustment, I'm very happy with where I'm at in my life now. I wouldn't trade anyone for what I have now, and what it seems I'm on the verge of attaining. Simple as that

Neglect

Ok, so I know it's been awhile by my standards to write on here, but I've had a sort of topsy turvey two weeks.

Stephanie came up to good ol' So Dak two weeks ago. More like a week and a half, but whatever. I will say that we had an excellent time. I like the fact that we can be around each other and not have to constantly entertain each other, we just love each other's company, and that is what is really great. We didn't do a whole lot, because, well there isn't much to do in Sioux Falls. She came over to my Mom's on one of the nights and passed one of our family tests, watching a Nebraska game. I think the wine helped . The few days after that were fairly laid back, which I enjoyed quite a bit. Even though I think on my next trip to KC we'll have a bit more to do. I hated to see her go that Tuesday, but everything is still going so well, I couldn't ask for a better deal, sans distance of course.

Ok, so I'm living at home. I moved back in with my Mom to help me with the above situation. If you can add 2 and 2 and get 4, then you know exactly what I mean. I live in Sioux Falls, she lives in Kansas City, so you do the math. I don't want to comment on this too much, as I'm superstitious.

So I'm sure I'll be writting more as I adjust to the new environment.

Part Two

Kind of upset right now. My heart completely goes out to those that are affected by the events that have happened over the weekend. I'm sure there are a million and two posts on the blogs across the internet, I just want to say a small piece and be on my way...

It's things like these that really put your life in perspective, you realize how small yet special you are in the scheme of things. You realize that all your little issues and bullshit are just that when you stack it up against the people that have endured what they have the past few days. I sort of feel bad for having the attitude of "well, you live there you deal with the fallout" that I've had for the past week. It's wrong, and I feel guilty for thinking that. It's not right. The poverty rate in New Orleans is pushing 40nd their homes are all they have...

I wish I could do more than just sit here

Politics, Knees and Aggro

Today was interesting to say the least. After the upside down day yesterday that is best forgotten (for the most part), even though it had it's issues, I'll take it. Work was basically normal, until someone decides to bring up current events. Usually it is quite civil and tame, however today everyone seemed to be against me. Before I'll start I'll call myself a mild complainer. I've really only whined to one person about the subject thus far, so there.

The gulf coast was brought up today which then proceed to spiral out of control to issues spanning from the war to me being a hippy. As far as joining a commune and tending to sheep, I'd say I'm a long ways off from that lifestyle. However, my colleagues were thinking the contrary. To make a long story short I decided to tie in some of the issues regarding the environment that a few policy makers have recently ignored. Thats all, nothing huge! Nowhere did I mention a president, a congressman(woman, if you like) or otherwise. Unfortunatly for me, no one bothered to realize this fact even after explaining it many times over. Also, no one seemed to by into the "global warming = radical shifts in weather" theory which has been proven countless times. Alas, no one subscribed to scientific fact today, and I was publicly scorned, a hippy. Not the first time I've been labeled this. I guess if I care about those types of issues and it makes me one, so be it. If caring about my great-grandchildrens future is wrong, change my name to wavy gravy and by me a Grateful Dead shirt, time to hippy up. By the way, is hippy "ppy" or "ppie?" Let me know...

Then I proceeded to take out my aggression on the treadmill, bike, and weight center at the fitness center where I work.

Kickball was great tonight, pounded the other team 23-9. One bad thing, I messed up my knee quite nicely. They were going for a force out on first and the girl decided she was going to stand in the baseline. Not that I mind or am that upset about it, it's rec league kickball, you don't have to know anything to play. I had an awkward stop on the bag but was safe (hurray!!). The next "at kick" as we'll call it, I kicked a double and tried to stop on second and my knee gave out and I almost slid to the outfield. Now, I have a mildly sprained knee and aggro in my shin. That stuff sucks to pick out of your skin, like I just spent the last 20 minutes doing. Oh yeah, soap on cuts sucks too, if you didn't already know.

But anywho, I'm still in a great mood, and am looking forward to my weekend, and especially next weekend.

And last but certainly by no stretch of the imagination least, I spent an incredible weekend in KC. Of course you should know what that is all about, and I'm not going to go into much detail, but it was very good.

Thanks for listening, and P.S. Go Sox!! 7-5 on the Devil Rays, they need to hurry up and close out the division on the Yankees.

Strange

So today was weird...

I was mean and grouchy most of the day because of one of my notorious headaches...I was sort of short with everyone today, including my girlfriend, my Mom, and my roommate. I really don't like being like that, however when I get one of these I can't even think. I've got some medical issues that cause them, at least I think that's what it was today. Anyway...

This is my way of apologizing to everyone

Jump right in...

Work is fast paced as ever...
Going to KC for the second time within two weeks...
Driving my Mom to a meeting for an investment deal in Mitchell (weird)...
Taking over running my kickball team from here on out...
Trying to catch up with some friends...
Deciding what to do when Steph comes up here in September...
Stressing about a new group I'm working with at the J-O-B...
Stressing from directly working with the Site Director on said project...

So anyway, today is sort of my time to have everything catch up with me. I'm not complaining though, everything mentioned above are things that I am really in to, some more than others obviously. Tonight is my usual night to go up and eat dinner with my Mom and hang out at the liquor store that she owns. It's nice for a kid who didn't have a relationship with his Mom for the past 10 years to have the ability to converse about the things that are going on in my life, and willingly take in some suggestion and some advice. It's strange, I've never been this into family for a very long time, if ever to be truthful.

Which leads me to the fact that I haven't talked to my Dad in about a month. My sister and him had a falling out (first one ever) last month and I kinda got caught in the middle, sometimes he can be weird.

But yeah, life is good right now at the moment (strange for me to say also). Actually life is great. I'm very happy with what I have, so I guess you could say I'm content.

Commentary

Ok, I'm like in the middle of 10 different things right now, however I feel like letting a little out, right now. Interesting people always make me think, I'm not sure why exactly. I used to hope that it wasn't because I couldn't spawn an interesting thought of my own, but now I'm old enough to understand that everyone draws inspiration from somewhere. I just finished reading an article in a major music publication (not Rolling Stone, get real) on a rock star that created one of the largest, and most important (in my opinion) bands in the 90's. I've always sort of taken what this individual had to say with a grain of salt, because of the flare for the pretentious. I've always been more of an earnest fella, however there is quite a difference in making earnest rock and being that way day to day. Read between the lines, you'll see what I mean. Case in point, one of my favorite bands U2. Not that their music has been anything of the sort since Rattle and Hum, or even before. Just for the record the film Rattle and Hum still makes me a little ill when I watch it. What does this have to do with anything that I'm saying?

Music has always held the keys to unlocking what I feel. That's an awefully cliched approach to my view of music, however sometimes the reason a statement or a sentiment is "cliched" is because there's a sort of universal truth behind it. Coming from a musician and (I hate saying this, never take myself seriously) fledgling scribe of music itself, it's easier to understand exactly what it can do, and the implications that come along with letting it take over. The music I've listened to over the years is autobiographical in a way. I can queue up an album from 1995 and remember what it felt like to watch my young life crumble from beneath me while my parents had a messy divorce, or to the fall of 2000 and recapture what I was feeling when my uncle/godfather/second father died right in front of my eyes at the age of 47 of lung cancer. It's not all sad, I can hear a certain piece of music and remember optimism, youth, innocence. I've learned to never understimate the vibrant undercurrents of a silly song making you smile now, because you may need to rely on that years down the road.

I've chronicled my life in the past 10 years with a series of 12 CD's. Almost sounds like something a former MTV VJ or Roger Daltrey should be selling you at 3:30 AM. I almost like to think of it as a "ask me where I've been and I'll tell you" type of a deal. The music itself? It spans from everything you know, to everything you wanted to know but didn't. I've always liked to think of myself as the keeper of fringe (and beyond) among friends. I always try to dig a little deeper to find that something that speaks to just me in my circle of friends. Sure it's easy to sit back and be a Radiohead fan (because they're a great band) and claim to be the cool hip individual of your group. And if that's your bag, well then I can't say anyone should hold you to a fault. My point is, is that good music is out there, all you have to do is open your eyes and look. Look beyond MTV or VH1, not that their is a lot of musical inspiration from either musical outlet. Not that I'm trying to give advice, I just like hearing the sound of my own voice in my head (hehe). We'll leave it at that as to why I am choosing to write about this.

Taking someone's art and trying to have it define or even run commentary over your life is always a tricky thing. There are some CD's and some Vinyl that sit my shelf that never get pulled out for the reason that they are somewhat tarnished. Somedays I envy the person that can flip on the radio and have it just be "in the background." However, most of the time I like to keep my madness the way it is, but whenever I need a smile I always tap into my collection of 90's Sweed pop to keep me happy Hey, it's good stuff.

8 1/2

Don't mind me and my title, just sort of counting...

So it's a dreary day in SF, however I have kickball tonight and that's always reason to celebrate. This week will be smoother than the last, or at least I sure hope so. This weekend is going to be fairly non-eventful by choice, the only thing I have to do is go to a wedding, and I'm fairly confident that I'm going to keep it that way. I have an incredible habbit of making no plans for myself that turn into massive amounts of plans. Not that I'm an important guy, I guess I just have a nose for things to do and people to see.

One of my favorite bands (311) released a CD this week, and I've been spending the last 24 hours trying it on. They don't venture too far away from their tried and true formula, however they always seem to add a new wrinkle every couple years to keep things interesting. I think it's funny in a way that I still listen to them, they are more of an adolescent/pot smokers band. I think the quality that endears me to them still is the amount of positive energy that they put into their music. I respect the fact that they are a mainstay to their style and what they believe, despite musical climate changes that happen as often as here in sunny/cloudy/rainy/snowy South Dakota. So I'm a huge fan, sue me. I also saw them live down in Kansas City last friday, which transitions beautifully into my next paragraph...

No, the reason to go to KC was not 311, however it was a nice bonus to a certain extent. For starters, Steph and I spent a lot of time in the rain, she spent a lot of time dodging people shoes and drugs. Not exactly the type of environment I imagined our first show to be in, however I should have expected that knowing how the usual suspects act in that setting. All in all, it was a fun time despite some of the drawbacks, it showed that she'd put up with a lot to make me happy, which a guy can really appreciate. I'm not really going to recap everything we did (but if you really want to know, I'm sure you can figure out how to get there), all I can say is that every minute was phenomenal and that I wanted to stretch each one to the fullest. It ended sooner than I would have liked, but the next visit is just around the bend. I couldn't be happier (well, I could but you know)...

So yeah, the weekend was great, the week at work is going well, and I'm signing off for now...

Good Evening

Well tonight was kickball and man was it eventful. Never a dull moment with people that are still have a fleeting notion that they are A) In Shape B) In shape enough to still be competitive (in a rec league no less!!) or C) All the above. I tell you what, if I get one my accounant that is 47 and has never watched a baseball game in his life explain to me a sport I've followed since I was knee high to a bat boy, I'm going to go Lou Pinella on their arse. So now that I'm at home finishing my Gatorade and listening to angry devil music to simmer down before my nightly phone call, I'd have to say that the recreation league of Sioux Falls kickball is anything but.

These people must sit in their offices every week planning and stratagizing on batting lineups, outfield positioning, when to bunt, when to pop up, when to run, when to tag up, when to yell at me. You name it, these people eat, drink, and whine kickball. This is going to be the last year I ever do this. I bet the actual competition league is way less stressful because everyone knows what's going on!!

Tonight (not that anyone may care) I had to take over as coach and play at the same time. I guess it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but a guy can only be pushed so far on hump day, you know?

I did this because I was convinced it would be fun. I didn't sign up to argue with every farmer tanned, visor wearing, breathing down the neck of applying for AARP, middle-age kickball know it all this side of the Mississippi. (Sorry for my Yosemite Sam Rant, sure love the Looney Tunes).

So anyway, now that I'm feeling a bit better, I'm puting down the bad music and I'm going to go and make a sandwich.

Blah!!

Okay, That Was Easy

So, here we go again.

"One Day Weekend"

Well, two posts, one week. Not too shabby for me when you get down to it. So tomorrow starts yet another week, which for the most part should be fairly normal. However, the normal week leads into the non-typical weekend when I get to spend time with my "girlfriend" (gotta love the quotes, we'll get used to it someday). It will be a blast, I have no reservations about that, so I guess I'm just saying that I'm really looking forward to it!

Rough times on the home front this weekend. Let's just leave it at the fact that Saturday was a sort of weird/surreal day for me. Too much confrontation and whatnot. Got into it with my room mate (for reasons I'll leave out) for the first time ever. Sort of odd, but it's over and done with and things are normal again. I went out with my brother, his fiance, and their work friends. Alcohol Stupid People = Drama. Never changes, never will.

So anyway, not much to do tomorrow other that go to work, the next few days will be filled up with the "usual" activities, but that's okay, since I seem to enjoy my life quite a bit these days.

Good evening

My First

I'm going to be in the process of transferring my old posts from my MySpace blog, as I'm shutting it down as soon as I've completed this daunting task. Maybe it won't take so long, we'll see.

"So Here I Am"

Apparently, I have no computer skills so we'll try this again...

As I explained 10 minutes ago to the blog entry that is now sailed off into the land of unsaved mistakes by myself (of which there are many) I was a little apprehensive to start anything public like this. I'm not sure if I will keep it this way, maybe some of the more personal ones will be under the banner of "friends only."

So my life is really quite normal for the most part. I have a great 9 to 5 job that I seem to think I'm really good at, and that I enjoy (except for today). I have a great relationship with my family and friends, and could really only ask for a few fences to be mended in that aspect of my life. On the other hand, my relationship couldn't be and more un-normal (making up words as I go) on the surface. Nothing like a little time and distance to raise all sorts of questions for peers. However, only a select few really know how good it actually is, and that we are making strides to someday (and soon) make the most of it. If I could see the future, I'd be counting the days I believe.

So anyway, thus begins my foray into the world of public broadcasting, to my friends (of which there are few) you'll be able to continue to read my thrilling adventures, haha. To those just passing by, happy trails...