No, Of Course This Isn't About You

Current mood: savage
Category: Music

If you so happened to read my last entry from earlier this evening you'll see that I was wanting to address people that would poke fun and even try to belittle my taste in music or because I would still listen to a band like Nine Inch Nails. The truth is, are you ready for this? I don't think you are? Are you sure? Ok, here goes. I still listen to bands from the 90's. Sorry, I just do. However, I also listen to bands that you've never heard of either that are really fucking good. Here is the deal. There are a lot of people that I know out there that desperately want to be "trendy." Maybe "hipster" would have been a better word because trendy is very broad and it doesn't do the same job as hipster would to accomplish establishing my point. People that only listen to bands that are either not signed or signed to record labels that are "indie" are people that sometimes get on my nerves. Do you know people that play the "oh, I've been fans of them since the dawn of time" game? "I've been a fan of XYZ band for three years before everyone knew who they were." "Well, I discovered them and signed them, so fuck you." That's what I usually like to say to people that do that type of thing.

I get made fun of by a friend of mine for liking Soundgarden still. Why? I'm not sure, probably because he thinks they suck. Not that the sentiment is not authentic, he thought they sucked when they were popular, so I know he's not just saying that now because it's cool to not like "grunge" or popular music from the 90's anymore. They guy cheered when Kurt Cobain killed himself. I should know, he told me the next day in school. Of course this was the same friend who would only wear his Dr. Dre and Cross Colors shirts to Sioux Falls SkyForce games when we were in middle school because he didn't want to be made fun of. So everyone has their own tolerance level for wanting to deal with the oppression of the majority, which I'm not condemning.

Too many people my age subscribe to the "High Fidelity" credo of music, movies, and books defining who you are. To me that part and angle of the movie was always rubbish. The whole point of that movie in the end is that those things in popular culture do not define you and it's the relationships you establish throughout your life that are important. Your preconceived notions on what people like and don't like and how it defines them are usually incorrect. Take the part when John Cusack's character "signs" the shoplifting skaters to his non existent record label because their music is surprisingly good. Don't get me wrong, that is one of my favorite movies. But so was Grosse Pointe Blank. It's 99.8% of the reason I saw High Fidelity in the theater when it came out in the first place. One of about 57 people anyway. Fact is most people are looking to be led, so if that's where you choose to start a belief system, having things in pop culture define you, so be it. Listening to a band no one knows about doesn't make you cool, it makes you resourceful. Being resourceful doesn't make you cool either, but nice try. Anyone can discover cool new music now. It's not that difficult as it was when I got to middle school or high school. I actually had to either find a ride or drive myself to Ernie Novembers (an independent music shop) in Sioux Falls and find stuff out for myself or by word of mouth while there. Or reading Spin when it was actually cool. Listening to "popular music" doesn't make you smart, cool, or funny. Not listening to it doesn't make you any of those qualities either.

Another part of the larger issue here is the way people dress. Look, dressing like the way the latest and greatest indie band dresses is not making a statement, nor do you look hip. I had a friend of mine who dressed like she was homeless/Urban Outfiter poster child for awhile, then dressed like The Strokes when they were hot, the back to homeless then retro t-shirts and outfits with vintage fake tour shirts. That phase drove me the most nuts. I wear t-shirts and jeans most days. T-shirts with sports teams on them. I wear Nike's and white socks made by Hanes. I watch baseball all the goddamn time from April to October and football from September to February. Yet I still listen to music that is seen as "hip" or "trendy." What you listen to or how you dress should not dictate what gives you pleasure in life. I try not to let music or anything define the way I dress or act or anything. That's the point. Being original isn't trying to be different from everyone else. Being original is being different from everyone else by accident, or being the same as most people on the surface but knowing what you are worth and how that makes you unique.

People also make too much of an effort to separate themselves from the rest of the world by displaying an "original" behavior. Those people drive me the craziest. The ones that always stick out in the crowd or your group but drive you up the fucking wall. People that act different for attention and attention alone and consciously do this are retarded. If you are going to react a certain way to something, then have the mind to stop yourself and try to act differently because everyone else is acting the same, you're stupid. That's all. I'm no psychiatrist so I can't articulate and develop this point as much as I would like to.

All in all, when someone likes to blast me that I'm not cool with for liking what I like I don't generally take offense. I just pass them off as being mostly misguided and maybe a little unsure of what they really like or enjoy in life because they have to make themselves feel better at my, or anyone else's expense. I'll still make fun of bands that I think suck, or movies for that matter. I just don't think that if you like said band or movie that you should stop liking them just because myself or someone else says otherwise.

Currently listening : Year Zero By Nine Inch Nails Release date: By 17 April, 2007

8:31 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Derek

size=4>i believe what you are trying to say is: just like what you want and dont let anyone tell you it sucks just because they disagree with your tastes, right? and just who pissed you off so much that you had to go and get all analytical about it? i want names! j/k, this has nothing to do with me, but i like to kill time by puting up meaningless comments, haha. Posted by Derek on Wednesday, May 02, 2007 at 9:10 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

The 2nd Lamest Gary

Current mood: chipper
Category: Sports

Check it.

Yes, I still listen to that band down below. I have an entry coming up for you people that think that (and other "90's bands") is lame, just you wait.

Currently listening : Year Zero By Nine Inch Nails Release date: 17 April, 2007

Get Out Your Brooms and Swweeeeeeep!!!

Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Sports

If you don't read this, I'll never forgive you.

Currently listening : Houseparty: Anthology By J. Geils Band Release date: 20 April, 1993

Odds and Sods

Current mood: energetic
Category: Life

Since I made the "announcement" that the lion share of my blogging for the next six months or so would be on my Red Sox blog, I haven't had much to say on here because I focus a lot of my time on baseball. You may also enjoy me being taunted by a certain friend and fellow baseball blogger because I still like Soundgarden. Yes, that Soundgarden. I guess I can take that since I did call him out in a blog of mine recently for liking Deep Blue Something and other assorted garbage in high school. Anyway, since it's been a little while, maybe a week or so, I have some odds and ends type things that have been on my mind that I would like to post for your reading enjoyment.

I've realized that TV sort of sucks. This isn't anything new mind you, but while watching TV with Stephanie last night and then watching a show I actually like on my DVR tonight I'm starting to realize the mostly vapid TV schedule is extremely disappointing. The show I was watching tonight is "30 Rock" and it's one of the only intellegently written shows on television. It's funny the only two other sitcoms that I like are on the same night which are "My Name Is Earl" and "The Office." Not only is Alec Baldwin a laughfest and a riot on this show, Tina Fey is hot. Like, really hot. I've had this thought ever since she took on the "Weekend Update" duties on Saturday Night Live. As much as I liked Norm MacDonald and as much as I loved to hate Colin Quinn, Fey was a nice departure from the dudes. The second and third reasons for liking her so much is that she is smart and funny. Those three are a rare combination for women that are on TV these days. Isn't it awesome that the first reason for liking her is because she's hot? Men will probably never change.

Two major events have happend in the last 10 days. Don Imus has called a New Jersey womans basketball team "nappy headed ho's" and someone in Blacksburg, Virginia popped and killed a few dozen people today. I could have written an entire entry devoted to both subjects, however if any of you readers watch the news I'm sure the saturation in print, online, and on TV will be enough for you. I only have a couple things to say. I find it funny the only time the Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton show up are when a white person says something stupid about the black community. It is sort of nice to see now that Imus has lost his job that the focus is being turned around on opportunists such as these and see where they really stand on "bettering the black community." I don't feel I have much place to comment on this, since I'm not black, however it will be interesting as an observer to see how things fall for them. Jackson and Sharpton that is, not black people. I am dreading how the next several weeks to few months will transpire for those directly involved with the Virginia Tech shootings today. I know it's tragic and very unfortunate and a lot of families lost a lot today. I don't want to seem so callous that I will be inconvenienced the next few weeks because we as American's will be playing the blame game and how much I hate that, but I will be. That in itself is a sad situation and more sad when you consider how that commentary is a reflection on where American's stand on stories in the media. It's a horrible thing when ANYONE is murdered, not just a highly concentrated amount at one time.

Quick Hits
- I know it's been awhile since one of my widely requested "Things I Hate" entries, but don't fret, I have more coming soon. I'm also deciding on what to write for my next "Favorite Albums" also.

- For those that refuse to read my Sox blog, I'm quite please that they are off to a strong 7 and 4 start and lead the AL East by .5 games. We'll see how they fair against the number one and two teams from said AL East in the next six days.

- In other sports news, the 2007 NFL Draft is in less than two weeks and am I the only one that is not as excited as the rest of the sports world? As the years tick by the more and more I fall out of love with the NFL. Maybe it's because fucking everyone and their dog likes it now. That's usually about the time I check out.

- Here is sort of something I hate. The misuse of the word "irony" "ironic" or "ironical." This may be the most overused word where people really don't know what it means. When you show up late to work, that's not ironic. When Alanis Morissette gets 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife, that's not irony either kids. Please do me and everyone that understands the English language to a high school level and grab a dictionary and study up on the definition.

- I've realized that I have less than 6 months until I'm a married man and I have absolutely zero reservations about marriage. Is that bad? I personally don't think so, however most people find this to be strange.

Currently listening : These Friends of Mine By Rosie Thomas Release date: By 13 March, 2007

11:32 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Derek

thats just how you know its love. plus you've had sex with enough of the wrong girls already anyways. compared to you, im a freakin monk. so... is matt throwing you a bachelor party, because if u leave it to me or cory you know it wont get done, we hate strippers, lol, and jason probably wont have time, like usual, i know we are horrible friends. Posted by Derek on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 7:49 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Technically, it's Thursday

Current mood: confused
Category: Life

3rd time is a charm, so here we go. And don't dismiss this entry because it's long, because it's about you.

I've never been the most honest peson in the world, whether it's telling the truth and being honest with myself or being myself around others. I've always had issues with how I view myself and it is reflected in the relationships and friendships I've had over the years and how most of them end up broken. I'll just come right out and say it. I am an insecure person. At least now I'm working on breaking that mold. For the longest time I was satisfied to present everyone with anything but the facts when it came to me. If you talk to people that really know me, I mean really know me, I can't honestly tell you what sort of response they would give you if you asked them about me. I think I've been somewhat of an enigma most of my life.

That last statement leaves me very empty. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not looking for a pity party with this entry, however you get to a certain part of your life when you realize you've fucked up quite a bit over the years and coping with it isn't always the easiest thing in the world to do.

All (by all I mean most) of the friends I have on MySpace I know in real life and have had a relationship with in some capacity. Most of the people are part of groups (seperate from each other) that I've been associated with over the years. Once I have been around people long enough and my bullshit has rubbed off on them, they usually get tired of me and my antics and wash their hands of me. Now while I've sort of reconnected with them through the beauty of MySpace, when I leave comments or send emails I usually don't get any response in return. When I look on all of their pages they all communicate with each other and genuinely like keeping in contact with one another. Can't say I would blame most people on here for not responding to me, it's not like I've let anyone really get to know me over the years. I just put up the same smartass routine to keep people at bay just enough to not really figure out that I'm not comfortable with who I am. I never wanted people to know that. Most of my life I've always wanted to be better than everyone else, but I know I never have been. It may not make sense, but trust me, it's a hard way to live. I think that when I've done that in the past it makes it easy for those I've been friends with to forget about me, because they never really got to know me. Or what I thought was me. Or what they thought was me. I've found that I'm easy to forget about and when I do decide to pop back up again and most often ask themselves or each other "who is this guy?"

Like I said, I don't want a pity party and that's not what I'm looking for. I'm not wanting a bunch of comments from people saying that I really am a good guy and I shouldn't be so down on myself. But I wouldn't be helping myself or honest with myself if that's what I was after.

Rather than focus on the connections I made that were real in my life I was always looking for something I thought was better. Or someone who was "cooler." I wish I were a little more articulate to describe my point a little better but I'm not really capable of tackling that challenge tonight. I think that people that read this that do know me a little bit know what I'm getting at. There were always certain groups of people that I hung out with that I would be ashamed to be seen with or be associated with because they weren't the coolest people around. That was stupid, and I'm sorry for that. I've abandoned and damaged a lot of really good relationships because of my insecurites.

Some of us are honest to a fault, the rest of us are genetically predispositioned in the opposite direction. I greatly respect and admire the former.

I try hard everyday to be honest with the relationships that I have now. It's all I've got right at the moment. I've left myself a very lonely person when it comes to the scope of the friendship pool. That's not to say I need a bunch of friends to feel loved, it's just that the ones that have really mattered to me in the past I feel like I've gone out of my way to erase.

Currently listening : Cryptograms By Deerhunter Release date: By 06 February, 2007

1:40 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Derek	One of the hardest things in the world is finding a way to show people who you really are inside. It's tough to try and show people how you see yourself. What i've just read you describe is something that i'm pretty sure every single person in the world has done or felt at one point in their life. Deep down everyone wants to be the alpha male, but some turn out to be the beta or even worse the omega, but how they see themselves when no one else is around doesnt always match their status in life. Believe it or not, even with being the youngest of 4 brothers, and the butt of most of the jokes of "our" group for years, i still think pretty highly of myself inside. I've had times where i thought "god, what dicks, im so much better than them cus i dont stoop to their level". Not saying that makes me a bad guy or a good guy, just saying its normal. And alot of people seem to have this notion that just because "you" are trying to erase them from your life that that means "they" are willing to let you erase them. Ive had plenty of people in my life that have flat out told me im not worth their time anymore, but i still love them dispite it. thats just how cool i am. Posted by Derek on Thursday, April 12, 2007 at 8:54 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	MontERNa	See, I've always been who I am, take it or leave it. I've had periods where I wore my heart on my sleeve a little more - but those were just more disastrous. I think I end up losing friendships because people have some strange idea that at some point, I'll settle down - be less loud, less outgoing, less opinionated - I dunno. But that doesn't happen and they go away. I've never been someone else's "best friend," their #1. That makes me sad, I won't lie. But then I remember that now I have so many GREAT friends - the ones who stick around are always really amazing people who bless my life every day. So anyway, those are my thoughts. Posted by MontERNa on Thursday, April 12, 2007 at 6:29 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

J.F. Whitaker

You're a really good guy, Zach and you shouldn't be so down on yourself. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU NAPPY HEADED HO?!?!? I can relate to all the mushy stuff you mentioned in your (once again) mile-long blog. I didn't know you were a friggin' liar...thanks for the heads up. I suppose all these things happen as you get old. And then you die. I'm pretty sure second-guessing the way you've lived or the friendships you've gained or lost never ends. It's strange to me because most people are brought up to think that they must be surrounded by others at all times...then high school ends, figuratively speaking. I can definitely say it's hard not to dwell on all the "what if's" as I get older, but if I had done the things that I didn't do or vice/versa I probably wouldn't be sitting here posting a reply on your blog... ...and the space-time continuum goes on. Posted by J.F. Whitaker on Thursday, April 12, 2007 at 8:53 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

New Blog

Current mood: sick
Category: Blogging

I was going to use MySpace to blog about the Red Sox but I figured that most of my readers don't give a shit about baseball, let alone my baseball team. So anyway, if you would like to read my new blog, here it is. It's nothing spectacular as I'm sick and don't really feel like writing that much. I am completely ripping off my friend Matt who has a blog concerning the Minnesota Twins just for the record and to prevent any future lawsuits. Anyway, be sure to bookmark my site and keep up with me and my team! Yes, I will still be updating this blog regularly as I do more than just watch baseball from here until (hopefully) October. Not much though, even though I do have a wedding somewhere in there .

Currently listening : Everything All the Time By Band of Horses Release date: 21 March, 2006

Welcome Back Baseball

Current mood: irritated
Category: Sports

After coming off of a 4 to 1 victory over the Kansas City Royals, which I was present and accounted for yesterday, I figured I had something to say about my team. That's right, MY team, the Boston Red Sox. I'm a boy from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, how does someone like me become a fan of a team that is over 1500 miles away? Well, I'm glad you asked because I'm always more than willing to share my story and I've gotten pretty damn good at telling it, because I've had to explain it to more Twins and Royals fans than I'd care to count.

The story goes that I did start off liking the Twins a bit because they won the World Series when I was seven. Everyone in South Dakota went bat shit crazy when this happened, so what's a seven year old boy to do? I also counter that comment with the fact that I have never owned a single stitch of Twins apparel. Ever. I had a Twins baseball, but that was a gift. They won the Series again, but then the difference was this time (at the age of 11) I cheered for the Braves because at the time of that win, "local yokels" had become the ire of my existence. Flash forward a few years about the only thing I cared about when it came to sports was Michael Jordon, the San Francisco 49ers, and of course my beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers. Picking a favorite baseball team was almost an afterthought and baseball itself was secondary to me except for the following: I really loved watching it (no matter who was playing), I collected a ton of baseball cards, and I was at the mercy of listening to one of my former best friends yammer on and on about the Twins constantly. He still does to this day, as a matter of fact.

Part two of this back story is my old man loving the New York Yankees. He owns some pretty sweet Yankees memorabilia, like famous Yankee rookie ballcards and a few signed baseballs. It's not a ton by a serious collector's standards, but it is for the casual one. My Dad tried desperately to get his only son to follow in his footsteps. He even went as far as to buy me a Yankees t-shirt which yes, I did regretfully wear a few times in 8th grade. However, I wore a White Sox shirt the same year because when my parents took me shopping, it was on sale along with the Yankees shirt. For some reason I didn't like the Yankees, I couldn't get into them and I didn't give a shit about the history. So what does any kid that lives to rebel against his parents do? Cheer for the rival team, of course. So my current love for the Red Sox was spawned from hate.

Spilling into the years of my parent's divorce, even though I lived with my Dad and got along with him, a rift between us grew every year from April to October. So I would say that I've been a fan since I was 15 and really got into it at about the age of 17. The season we landed Pedro, the same Pedro who I followed since '91, was when I got into it full swing. I fell in love with the team and players from Mo Vaughn to Nomar. It wasn't entirely because of the players, it's never been so much about that completely. I relish the role of the underdog. I've cheered for that person or group of people all my life. I've gotten my ass kicked for sticking up for the underdog. It's not just having to do with the Red Sox either. I turned in to a huge Huskers fan when they choked every year. I loved cheering for a team that wasn't supposed to beat the Miami Hurricane's or Florida State's of the world. It's always been my attitude. I'm not a conformist type person, I've always questioned authority and I never feel 100% comfortable under it. For anyone who is reading this thinking how can a team with the second largest payroll be an underdog? If you followed that logic the Yankees would win every year and teams like the Twins would never make the playoffs, but money doesn't buy championships and small market teams make the playoffs. That is an arguement that is reserved for people who don't really grasp what baseball is all about. I'm going to jump off this soapbox before I even get started.

In some ways I feel closer to this team than I do the Huskers because of the point I made above, even though the city and east coast are a good thousand or so miles away from me. I've been there and seen Fenway close up. There is nothing else like it and it is an experience that I think every big time fan or casual fan should experience. After years of the Metrodome and the past two years seeing the Royals play AAA (maybe) ball, it was almost sensory overload.

Rant
Speaking of all things from the Dome... After reading a friend's written, uh, "tribute" to Manny Ramirez I was a little disgusted by it, but I also understand why it was written. I can't blame a guy whos team was on the brink of contraction no more than six seasons ago or his reasons why he would hate a guy like Manny. He is sort of a slap in the face to fans of teams that primarily cultivate their own talent. I also agree with the point this person made about Manny being only a hitter. His fielding and baserunning leaves a lot to be desired, and he's been known to pull some over miscellaneous shit that I don't have the time or effort to type out. Look it up yourself. That being said here are my points of contention He doesn't show up for camp on time, but who the fuck cares? Does that affect his regular season productivity? The guy is guilty of a lot, but his desire to win? Come on. The Sox pay him to hit and produce on offense and that's what the guy does. Here are some of his accomplishments listed below.

• 10-time All-Star (1995, 1998-2006)
• World Series Champion (Boston, 2004)
• World Series MVP Award (2004)
• 2-time Hank Aaron Award (1999, 2004)
• 9-time Silver Slugger Award (1995, 1999-2006)
• Won American League batting crown (2002, .349)
• Led AL in home runs (43) (2004)
• Led AL in RBI (165) (1999)
• 3-time led AL in slugging percentage (1999-2000, 2004)
• 3-time led AL in OPS (1999-2000, 2004)
• Twice led AL in on base percentage (2002-03)
• Twice led AL in intentional walks (2001, 2003)
• 8-time Top 10 AL in total bases (1996-99, 2001,2003-05)
• 7-time Top 10 AL MVP (1998-2004)
• 8-time Top 10 AL in home runs (1998-2005)
• 7-time Top 10 AL in RBI (1995, 1998, 1999-2001, 2004, 2005)
• 4-time Top 10 AL hitters (1997, 1999-2000, 2003)
• 5-time Top 10 AL in times on base (1997, 1999, 2003-05)
• Member of Major League Baseball's Latino Legends Team
• 27-game
• 10-time All-Star (1995, 1998-2006)
• World Series Champion (Boston, 2004)
• World Series MVP Award (2004)
• 2-time Hank Aaron Award (1999, 2004)
• 9-time Silver Slugger Award (1995, 1999-2006)
• Won American League batting crown (2002, .349)
• Led AL in home runs (43) (2004)
• Led AL in RBI (165) (1999)
• 3-time led AL in slugging percentage (1999-2000, 2004)
• 3-time led AL in OPS (1999-2000, 2004)
• Twice led AL in on base percentage (2002-03)
• Twice led AL in intentional walks (2001, 2003)
• 8-time Top 10 AL in total bases (1996-99, 2001,2003-05)
• 7-time Top 10 AL MVP (1998-2004)
• 8-time Top 10 AL in home runs (1998-2005)
• 7-time Top 10 AL in RBI (1995, 1998, 1999-2001, 2004, 2005)
• 4-time Top 10 AL hitters (1997, 1999-2000, 2003)
• 5-time Top 10 AL in times on base (1997, 1999, 2003-05)
• Member of Major League Baseball's Latino Legends Team
• 27-game hitting streak in 2006 in 2006.

Geez, what an asshole. He's not my favorite player by any stretch, but he shows up and does what he's paid to do and he does it well. Tons of people slack off at work and call in sick when they really aren't. Swing that judgemental pendulum back in the other direction once in a while. I like the guy because he's real. He doesn't pretend to be some clean cut kiss ass which a lot of ballplayers parade themselves around as. And he makes fun of Derek Jeter.

I hated the holier than thou attitude that most of the "earnest" Twins fans had in Sioux Falls (and something most Royals fans are guilty of, but since they suck now they aren't as vocal). I especially hated it given the fact you couldn't hardly find a real Twins fan in SF from about 1994 until 2001 when they were a complete embarassment and abomination. I should know, I watched a lot of Twins games with this friend of mine during that time. However, I do respect the guys who stuck with this team and didn't wear any Mariners t-shirts in 1996 because they liked Griffey Jr. Hell, most fans in the Twin Cities area avoided the Metrodome from April to September during this time like the plague. That's why I can't respect or stand to listen to too many "Twins fans" these days. Last year was sort of the pinnacle, because Kirby Puckett was a saint. Yeah, right.

Sorry to end this entry on a little rant, but that one has been building for a little while now.

Currently listening : Tessie By Dropkick Murphys Release date: By 24 August, 2004

2:37 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	MontERNa	1) Your reason for loving the Red Sox is similar to Scotty's for loving the 9'ers. Eerily so. 2) Your reason for loving the Red Sox isn't similar to mine for loving the Mets, but it is odd how we're both loyal fans to teams that have no geographical proximity to us. 3) LET'S GO METS! At least we can hate the dirty, nasty Yankees together. 4) I'm working on those training wheels, but I'll never be a stats fan. I love the players I love because of their charisma and talent, not to mention that Jose Reyes and David Wright are just plain yummy. I love Endy Chavez because of last year's stellar (double-take inspiring, even) outfiled catch last year. Carlos Beltran is working on earning my trust back after he struck out looking against the nasty Cardinals (who we swept in our first games of the season, thankyouverymuch). Posted by MontERNa on Friday, April 06, 2007 at 4:48 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	MontERNa	Um, Endy Chavez' outFIELD catch. Yeesh. Posted by MontERNa on Friday, April 06, 2007 at 4:49 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Zach

it's ok, you'll have paralegals and assistants to take care of those pesky errors later on Posted by Zach on Friday, April 06, 2007 at 4:53 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Let's Try This Again?

Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

So last night I tried to write a little something regarding the fallout from my epic post on Sunday. Epic compared to any previous post I've written personally that is. Then, MySpace ate my homework. To summarize said lost entry, I felt that it is difficult to erase your past and that people that say they live without regret are only fooling the fools. Then I would go on to say that I've found myself blah blah blah. Obviously the tone of this entry is going to be different from that of last night because my thoughts and feelings have completely changed on the subject. I'm all over the map like that when it comes to what is going on between my ears.

So in writing something very positive and very relevant to my state of mind presently, it did bring back some residual negativity regarding past relations. No one completely washes their hands of past relationships gone bad, and I am no exception. This all led into the following. I'm a very literal dreamer, everything that I can recall the next day is something that is not too far fectched from reality. Although come to think of it, Ben Affleck was in my dream on Sunday night, which strangely enough happens more often than I would like to admit. To make a long story short I was banished back to living in Sioux Falls, same old job, same old people. This does not include people that I am still in contact with in Sioux Falls of course. When I say "old people" I'm referring to those that wouldn't be reading this.

I've always wanted to get away from Sioux Falls. For some reason I made it a habit of shooting myself in the foot to prevent myself from getting away. Or maybe I was just looking for the right reason. I don't even really like going back there that much now, I'd just assume everyone come down here to see me. I can be sort of a prick like that. I'm surprised that most people I know still like me at all. (Sob).

To get things back on track, I've greatly disliked almost everyone I've had a serious relationship with. Why? I think I had a shitty taste in women for a long time. I always went for chicks (yeah, chicks) with a bitchy disposition. I thought it was sexy. I was sort of a dumbass. Every one of them carried the weight of the world on their backs and relied on me for their emotional stability, or instability. That was stupid, I'm such a sucker.

This entry resembles nothing like that of the entry I wrote last night. In fact, I hate this entry. I hate it a lot, the only thing is that I've wasted a lot of time on this subject and while I considered not even posting it I'm going to anyway.

Why all the Neko case you ask? Stephanie and I are going to see her on Friday and I'm really excited.

Currently listening : The Tigers Have Spoken By Neko Case Release date: By 09 November, 2004

11:08 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Derek	I just got all caught up on the latest season of red vs blue, that shit is hilarious. Anyways for something a little more relivent, yes you did have shitty taste in women and yes most of them did seem like bit**es, but ,at least in my scewed opinion, most of them were at least decent looking. And hope im not crossing any boundries here, but even a shlump like you made another step up with Stephanie, she seems like a catch. Let's just hope Cory and I can both find ones just as good. And for the record i think we are all shlumps, so dont take it the wrong way. Posted by Derek on Tuesday, April 03, 2007 at 11:57 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Zach	no need to be PC my friend, if you would like to refer to me as a "shlump" (which seems to be a cross between a shlub and a chump, nice one) then go right ahead. Posted by Zach on Tuesday, April 03, 2007 at 11:59 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

Big JC

I don't think you can blame yourself for not escaping Sioux Falls, very few of us have been able to accomplish it. Just when you think you have, bam, there you are, back again. I equate it to the Matrix. I mean, christ, look at me, I had to get married to stop the pull back to South Dakota. Posted by Big JC on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 at 7:13 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]