Increasingly uncomfortably unfortunatly at home...

...which I guess isn't a really bad thing. It's just the more and more my travels take me south of the border (Missouri that is) I feel more and more distant to my native state. It's almost like my body and my brain are hopelessly in South Dakota for the next 10 months to a year and my heart stays in Kansas City every time I come back. Of course my family and friends and all my creature comforts are here in good ol' SoDak, it's just that i'm ready to leave now. The grand master plan is to save gobs of money for the move and other logical steps in my move. So, while the time will more than likely go be slowly, I know that when the time gets here, it's going to be here in no time and couldn't have gotten here fast enough.

I know it's going to be a big adjustment, I just want to be ready in every way. I know you can't prepare for everything, it's just the things that are within my reach I want to be in order.

I don't think I'm doing this on purpose, but I really have a hard time working up the desire to make much of an effort to hang out with friends on a regular basis. I've been keeping to myself a lot lately. It's not because of you know who, I think there is more to it than that. I just think that (how typical) at 25 I'm finally ready for that next step in life. You don't see it coming, you just sort of fall into it. Every step has been exactly what I've hoped for, except for it being a little more complicated that the average Joe's life. I'm ok with that, the last 10 years have been nothing but normal for this chap.

I know I'm in a good situation though, I don't want to discount that and my logical side won't let the conductor of Fantasy Land get too out of control. Although the more and more I see her and the connection grows, the wiff of Fantasy Land gets increasingly harder to ignore. I'll just have to do a good job of staying in control (to an extent, of course you always have to let the situation dictate too). You just have to man the ship the best way you know how, and I'm starting to trust myself a little more as the days/weeks/months go on. I'm confident in what we've gained and accomplished so far. I'll have to tell you it's further along and better than I thought it would be the first time I went to see her after 4 years.

I think one of these days I will break down and post what happened over the course of the last (wow!) 6 years of knowing this person. However, knowing me and my protective self, I doubt it.

Hey, have to keep my "readers" coming back right??