Words Are Flowing Out...

Hmmm...I don't really feel like writing much either. Actually, I would love to write, but there's just so much to write about. Seriously. The topics are endless: Ed McMahon dying, neo-Nazi octogenarians, heat advisories, Jon & Kate divorcing, a doctor being shot down in church...the list is endless. So! I've decided to write about all of it...and more. Reader, be forewarned: There will be much rambling.

Ed McMahon is dead. People dying is typically sad; the greatest sidekick ever (save Andy Richter) dying is a bit more sad, I guess. I'll be honest, as I am, and tell you what Ed's death makes me feel. First, it makes me feel old, which isn't really out of the ordinary, I suppose. Second, it makes me miss Phil Hartman (I have to admit, I always liked Phil's impersonation of Ed McMahon way more than I liked Ed McMahon himself). Mr. McMahon always sort of creeped me out on The Tonight Show and more so on Star Search. However, I have fond memories of watching him with Dick Clark on TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes. Ed's set-up and delivery, albeit completely scripted, was some good stuff. For real.

Speaking of completely scripted events, 88 year old white supremacist James von Brunn shot and killed a security officer at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum not too long ago. I don't even know what to say about this guy. I tried to read up on him and his "the Holocaust never happened" drivel, but it became, at best, laughable and, at worst, disturbing as all get out. Grand Wizard von Brunn is just a small speck of poo in a clogged and overflowing toilet of hatred and deceit where all the other excrement feel sorry for themselves and each other even though they're the people who are messing up the plumbing. It's well known that the remedy to a backed-up toilet is a perfect balance of plunging, time, and persistence. Happy flushing!

Let's move on to heat advisories. They are dumb. That is all. Wait, okay...elderly people and young children should definitely get some extra attention when it's sooooo hot outside, but the weatherpeople of the world are being a bit ridiculous with the stupid heat advisory maps and such. Seriously.

Okay. My wife and I are guilty of Jon & Kate voyeurism, but we haven't been following it obsessively like Entertainment Tonight or US Weekly. If there's anyone out there who thought this family, given it's complex back story, would have a fairy tale ending, please don't procreate. J&K's situation is precisely what happens to two well-meaning jerks when they reproduce at a rapid pace and decide to let the world watch what happens. Is it just me, or is Jon reverting to his seventeen year old self? And don't Kate's eyes scream "I will pose nude for Playboy in the near future"? Just sayin'...

On a lighter note, infamous Dr. George Tiller was gunned down by a pro-life extremist while ushering at his church. Irony abounds. What's that? Oh, you'd like to know my personal beliefs? Okay...well, hmmm. Killing people is stupid; not only in the way crazy pro-life man did it, but also in the way the good Doctor Tiller did it. Now don't go getting your tubes in a tangle, feminists of the world. I'm all for women's rights...I really am. You know something, though? I don't get why loads of women can be so up-in-arms about reproductive rights, but not nearly as many seem to give a damn that women are paid far less than their male counterparts for equal work. Maybe that's the problem: Demand more money at work so then you can afford to buy contraceptives, avoid pregnancy, and therefore avoid abortion. Also, blogger Mark Smith pointed out how strange it was that a whole bunch of white women gathered at the Plaza for a vigil when Dr. Tiller was murdered, but they don't seem to notice that people are murdered every day on Kansas City's east side. I don't get it and I'm afraid they don't either.

Hooray! It's over!