It was a cold afternoon...

I'll admit it, it has been awhile since I have been to church on a regular basis. I believe I went three times, maybe four, yes, four times last year. Easter, my sister's wedding (which wasn't mass I recall), Christmas, and once about a year ago when Stephanie and I didn't think we would be able to close on our house. For the record, we did.

This morning, I attended Catholic mass with my wife. Rather than giving up something for Lent, she is deciding to go to church. I figured some spiritual currency could do me well. I have a sore throat. Anyway, the church by our house, Holy Spirit, is a classy, open, large, yet simplistic example of modern design in holy architecture.

I'm not here to wax layouts and floor plans for the house of the Almighty, what I'm here to do is report the status of kids in the Catholic church to all you heathens out there. Children today have it so easy. Catechism and mass Sunday mornings, back to back, no excuses. That was then. Now we have a separate story time for kids. I should have followed my sister's professional choice. She'll have waves of head cases for the rest of her life.

Just as I was rolling over the thoughts in my head, the first reading came to the congregation. Let me back up. For those of you not down with St. Peter and the Papal dynasty, Catholic mass is structured. And when I say structured I mean institutional. The first reading is placed somewhere between the opening blessing and the seventh time I check my watch.

Today, of all days when I decide to show up for church, is the story where Abraham is asked to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, to God. "No wonder they sent the kids out of the room," I say to my wife. This is my issue with some things in the Bible. You are tested by God and could possibly be asked to sacrifice a kid you tried to have for like 60 years of your life, then finally had success after your child bearing years were over.

The priest tried to rationalize the motives, or possible misinterpretations on Abraham's part. "Maybe he didn't understand God, child sacrifice, unfortunately, was part of the norm back then." Yes, a giant bearded sky god who told you to kill your kid. Hard to lose the message right? Here is an idea, maybe it didn't really happen?

I know it is not an answer most people of faith like to hear. But accepting the Bible as 100 percent literal is something I completely disagree with. So, maybe ushering the children out was a good thing, or maybe it wasn't. Listening as a young tot to scripture and homily after scripture and homily I soon discovered this book was full of holes.

I wanted to know how Noah was able to get the animals from different regions of the world on to his boat. Was he able to get the poisonous dart frog from South American jungles onto his boat? Did polar bears swim down (or up) from the polar caps (or shifting ice masses)? What about dinosaurs? Why no direct mention of them in the Bible/mass/Sunday school? All questions I started asking around the age of eight. You know what? No one really had a good answer for me.

I can't say I'm surprised. People who follow organized religion closely seem to have a knack for relying mostly on faith in an operation ran by some of the most intelligent people in the world. You think I'm kidding? You should see the academic resumes of some of the highest powers within the Vatican. They are running and gunning a multi-billion dollar a year industry. Even in this economic crisis.

This isn't to say the Catholic church isn't without their new, er old, ways of making money. The once forgotten practice of selling indulgences, a practice causing Martin Luther to leave the Roman Catholic church and start the Protestant movement, is back en vogue with Pope Benedict the XVI. Pope Ben will forgive your sins and allow you to pass Go (Purgatory) and go directly to the Community Chest (Heaven I guess) for the right price. What's old is new again. I wonder if blood letting will be brought back to the medical practice soon?

You might have guessed, this post really has no solid point to it. My musings rarely often do. It's just a guy who is being asked to father some children while coming to some grips with faith and raising said hypothetical kids within it. Got it? I'm of the mind that it is alright to believe in God/Jesus or whoever without having to show up for church each week and do the same thing over and over and over and over and...well, you get it.

I started thinking about this in church one Sunday while I was in high school, soon before I stopped going on a regular basis. A church gets a tax exempt status from the government, but if it catches fire, who do they call? Do tax paying Atheists have a say in where their money goes? Or does it fall under the category of public safety? I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the question. I just like asking it.

I think I might be changing my thoughts regarding the new U2 album as well.