contemplative Category: Romance and Relationships
What a difference a year can make
Going from a somewhat isolated individual to a person the brink of turning my life upside down for one person. All in the span of 365 days. This past week marked the one year anniversary of going from talking about normal chit chat to moving on to issues such as the history between the two of us and our immediate future. Although that wouldn't come for about another month or so. Anway, I digress from where I was going...
Some of you, who are fairly outgoing and independant may see this entry as sort of a "what's the big deal?" type of drivel. But for those that don't really know me as well as some do, you have to realize that around here, the place I've been looking for an out has changed for me over the last 18 months. You see another person came along that changed my life, and that's my half brother that my mom put up for adoption. He tracked us down and my made contact with my mom. To make a long story short, him and I hit it off very well and are very good friends just beyond long lost brothers. You could feel the kinship between the two of us right off the bat. 25 years of moments and lives that could have easily been merged, but for some reason were not. So here we are catching up 6 months into being brothers, and finally seeing a positive family environment for the first time in 10 years. Almost half my life. Then along comes life changing event #2...
Today is sad, because it's one of the days I've had to come back from where home is for me now. I feel like a guest in my own house and in the city I was raised in, because my home is with "life changing event #2" and that will always be my home, no matter what happens. Sometimes you only meet 2 or 3 people in your lifetime that really make an impression.
Just so happens that the past 18 months have shown me two of them right in a row.
And nothing could make me happier...
Going from a somewhat isolated individual to a person the brink of turning my life upside down for one person. All in the span of 365 days. This past week marked the one year anniversary of going from talking about normal chit chat to moving on to issues such as the history between the two of us and our immediate future. Although that wouldn't come for about another month or so. Anway, I digress from where I was going...
Some of you, who are fairly outgoing and independant may see this entry as sort of a "what's the big deal?" type of drivel. But for those that don't really know me as well as some do, you have to realize that around here, the place I've been looking for an out has changed for me over the last 18 months. You see another person came along that changed my life, and that's my half brother that my mom put up for adoption. He tracked us down and my made contact with my mom. To make a long story short, him and I hit it off very well and are very good friends just beyond long lost brothers. You could feel the kinship between the two of us right off the bat. 25 years of moments and lives that could have easily been merged, but for some reason were not. So here we are catching up 6 months into being brothers, and finally seeing a positive family environment for the first time in 10 years. Almost half my life. Then along comes life changing event #2...
"The One That Got Away"
Maybe not everyone has one, but I did. Something that when you thought about, while not often, would keep you up at night because it made you think about some of the things that you may have missed out on if only you'd made different decisions. Like I said, I had one of these, and when I say "one of these" I mean a person. The one where 350 miles was too far to overcome when we first met. I had to let this person go and it broke my heart, although I did my best to cover it up, I never completely got over it. Maybe that's why I'm in the position I'm in right now. Here is a number for you...
That's a round number, and it's not exact but it's very close. What's that number you ask? Well, that's the number of miles that my girlfriend and I have traveled to see each other the past ten and one half months. Sort of puts things in perspective for you huh? It sure does for me. Almost 13,000 miles to maintain a relationship. Some people find trouble dating someone in their own town for a year. So what does this say for us? Are we determined or stubborn? Completely in love or completely mad? I'd say the former on both questions.
I shut a lot of people out in my life, even the ones that have been closest to me over the years. For whatever reason I've become, like I said above, and isolated person. Things have been really coming together for me over the past year and a half on a personal level. For once in my life, things are falling into place at the right time. For once I don't feel as alone in the world.
Maybe not everyone has one, but I did. Something that when you thought about, while not often, would keep you up at night because it made you think about some of the things that you may have missed out on if only you'd made different decisions. Like I said, I had one of these, and when I say "one of these" I mean a person. The one where 350 miles was too far to overcome when we first met. I had to let this person go and it broke my heart, although I did my best to cover it up, I never completely got over it. Maybe that's why I'm in the position I'm in right now. Here is a number for you...
12,750
That's a round number, and it's not exact but it's very close. What's that number you ask? Well, that's the number of miles that my girlfriend and I have traveled to see each other the past ten and one half months. Sort of puts things in perspective for you huh? It sure does for me. Almost 13,000 miles to maintain a relationship. Some people find trouble dating someone in their own town for a year. So what does this say for us? Are we determined or stubborn? Completely in love or completely mad? I'd say the former on both questions.
I shut a lot of people out in my life, even the ones that have been closest to me over the years. For whatever reason I've become, like I said above, and isolated person. Things have been really coming together for me over the past year and a half on a personal level. For once in my life, things are falling into place at the right time. For once I don't feel as alone in the world.
Today is sad, because it's one of the days I've had to come back from where home is for me now. I feel like a guest in my own house and in the city I was raised in, because my home is with "life changing event #2" and that will always be my home, no matter what happens. Sometimes you only meet 2 or 3 people in your lifetime that really make an impression.
Just so happens that the past 18 months have shown me two of them right in a row.
And nothing could make me happier...
 | Currently listening : Year of Meteors By Laura Veirs Release date: 23 August, 2005 |
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