The Jerkstore...: Changing Gears

Current mood:

annoyed
Category: Sports

You know what I don't like? Getting questioned about the teams that I like. I kind of get sick of having to justify to a crowd of local yokels why I like the teams that I do. I have my reasons and I find them to be damn good ones too. So here we go with a little case study. And the two points are...

1. San Fransisco 49ers vs. Minnesota Vikings
Being a child of the 80's I find it highly impossible and extremely laughable for a kid that liked to win to cheer for Tommy Kramer over Joe Montana, or Anthony Carter over Jerry Rice. C'mon, get real. The Niners put on clinics for the rest of the league on how to school lesser opponents (such as the Vikings) in the playoffs, almost to a science. So why on Earth would I go for team with a running back from Auburn as opposed to Nebraska? Good question. Even though the tables have turned a bit the past few years, I find it hard to change my tune. However you can still count of the Vikings to choke all over themselves in the regular or post season. It seems a Vikings meltdown is as sure as snow in South Dakota in January. Despite my boys being in the cellar of the mediocre NFC West (which did represent in the Super Bowl this year, and only one of two divisions in the last 9 years to field an NFC Super Bowl Champion) I'm still here. From the days of my Dwight Clark "jersey" in the mid 80's and mismatching 49ers border that clashed with my blue room that drove my anally driven Mother nuts. I'd be a Detroit Lions fan if my Mom would have been able to deal with a kid having a nervous breakdown in Target about not getting the right team. Right down to my 49ers license plate covers and Ronnie Lott thowback jersey. Even when I move to Kansas City, which has some of the most rabid football fans on the planet, the plate covers aren't coming off.

2. Boston Red Sox vs. Minnestoa Twins
This seems to be the biggest travesty of all. How can you not be a Twins fan?? Get this, I cheered for the Braves in '91. Why? Because I hate the local Sioux Falls hype. Why? Who knows, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Sort of like wearing pork chop underwear in a shark tank. Let's just start this one off by saying that I was a confused child, and I didn't pick this team until a little later in life. When I say later I mean like late middle school and early high school. Even through these years of bad hair and band t-shirts, I still kept up with my teams. I wasn't full fledged until late in high school when I really got into the history of this club too. It's hard to fully embrace a team that you like out of spite for your Father and his team. Being a die hard Yankees fan (the man has Mantle rookie cards, autographed balls (not the Mick's, mind you, I mean baseballs sicko) and just a TON of Yanks memorabilia) for life, you could imagine the old man's distain for this lifestyle choice. I still think he'd rather have a gay Yankee's fan for a son, than a straight Red Sox fan. Seriously. Not to put gay people down, that's just my Dad's way of thinking. Read my "Idle" entry if you need any more reason for why I picked this team. I got into the idea of the underdog. Now it's hard to claim the "underdog tag" when your team has the second highest paid roster in the league. As far as I'm concerned, the only interesting thing in baseball the past 5 years has been these two teams. Doesn't sound like I'm a baseball purist? Shove it, you want to know why? These teams spend money because they want to win. And they have the revenue because, yes, they are in a big market, but keep fans because they don't dick around with putting players in place and having a system that produces a winner. You can make your case for XYZ small market team that is trying to survive as David to the Sox and Yankees' Goliath, but the fact remains the Twins were on the chopping block to get the fuck out of Dodge UNTIL they started winning. Get back to losing again, and you can go back to flirting with the idea of kissing the Twins goodbye as long as the current ownership remains. How can you stand behind that? I know I know, it's about the "team" and not ownership, but come on, that's like waiting for your money grubbing wife of 30 years to leave you when you got laid off from your high paying job and now you're flipping burgers at McDonalds. The Red Sox will never leave Boston, and the Yankees will never leave New York. That's a fact.

I really don't have too many other examples. The Wild are the only hockey team around, and comparing the history of Nebraska football in the last 30 years to the Gopher's or Iowa State or the Hawkeye's is like comparing your neighbor's new Corvette with all the trim to your little sister's '85 Mercury Topaz. It's just a waste of time. Besides, all you need to know about Nebraska is that one of the first pictures of me is in a Cornhusker's jumper.

Pictures to follow soon...