satisfied Category: Romance and Relationships
Something incredibly intimate lies within this monumental post. Everyone celebrates the 100th or 200th episode, or issue, or post. Not me, I'm swimming in the self-adulation of my MySpace blog. Yes sir, it is quite an accomplishment. Not to ignore any other accomplishment I've managed to pull off, I'm enclosing something very personal in this entry. Something so personal in fact that you have to be one of my friends to read this! So if you are viewing this you are in elite company. You and 50 some odd other people.
This is an email I sent to the soon-to-be Mrs. Zach Swalley tonight. I'm gathering pictures for our slideshow that will premier at our reception, one of the few tasks I've been charged with that I probably won't screw up or turn in late. I was struck by the scope of our relationship. Stephanie's and mine of course, the details of my relationship with you the reader shall be told generation after generation from the lips of elders that possess great wisdom and rhythm. Here is the email I sent to her in it's entirety and uncut just for you. Feel lucky, and Stephanie, don't be mad at me. I got love in my heart and I wrote an email about it, so here it go.
Hey,
So first of all, I have to apologize. It's about 1 am and I'm still not in bed. Worry not, I'll still be up in the morning on time for the gym :) I have extra motivation you see, as I'm browsing through old pictures of myself and us. Yikes, I need to take a week off and live at the gym.
Anyway, I'm just trying to find some decent 'G' rated pictures of me with my friends from years and years (and some not so many years) ago. I think we'll have plenty so I'm not too worried. Plus, I'll have to throw in some of the pictures my Mom will bring down.
I just had one of the those "wow, here I am" type moments. Remember when we used to talk about and hope that what we were doing two years ago was the right decision? Well, here we are, as right as can be. All those miles traveled and minutes racked up on the phone helped us get through to this point. I know it's sort of cliche to sit back and say to ourselves "gee it's amazing how far we've come." Saying that, it is a testament to how strong we can be when the both of us want something. We could have just as easily thrown in the towel at some point or just decided not to start anything at all. Since I've lived here I can tell sometimes that I lose sight of what we accomplished. I don't want to ever minimize what we did because it is a big deal. Either all of that or it shows how unreasonable and unrealistic we can be. Then again, who would have known that driving almost six hours to go see a movie would have been this worth it.
We took a chance, a big chance. Then again it was never really a gamble at all. It was pretty intense getting in my car that Friday afternoon and not really knowing what was going to happen. Well, other than an icebreaking trip to Friday's. Let's just examine that for a spell because after this long trip the road traveled has changed our attitude slightly. Let's study how crazy the notion me coming to "visit" or "hang out" really was. I remember wondering where I was going to sleep. Should I get a hotel room? Oh wait, I could just bring an air mattress! Of course as we all know I just crashed on the couch with your TV on and George pawing at me all night. I probably would have slept in my car.
That trip marked the first time I've driven that many miles just to hang out with a friend. Of course, you do have the distinction of being the second longest journey to spend some time with too. Our first "date/not-a-date" was pretty much the same set of circumstances when I came down when you were still at Northwest.
But you know all of this, and that much is obvious. I've always hated it when people use the whole "oh, it's a new chapter in my life!" speech or line. You know how incredibly sentimental I am. It is sort of true, as I begrudingly complete this thought. Our chapter of chasing the idea of "me and you" together and apart is coming to a close. In a few short weeks we are going to seal something and obliterate all that doubt and worry that has been chasing after us for the past eight, yes eight, years. I know the past year or so has helped, however this is really it.
So many nights after we met and after we gave us a go and crashed and burned, I'd ponder the age old question of regret, "what if?" "What if I stayed at Northwest with you?" "What if I took that job in Kansas City when we were still 'kids?'" "What if you would have come to Minneapolis with me to see U2? Could Bono and The Edge help cure the distance between us?" "What if I would have decided not to talk to you again after not talking to you for almost four years? Because, at that point, what was the point?"
No matter the dreaded "what if's" because all paths taken that cause them to exist led up to and is leading up to us spending the rest of our lives together. Everyone thinks their story is special and unique, and it is. I just never really thought that mine would weave it's tale in such a way. Maybe all true great things happen in this fashion. All great things seem to come out of having to face great challenges. Sounds like the words of a wise person, right? Or a line from a superhero movie. I never miss an opportunity to pat myself on the back, not even when I'm supposed to be writing something heart-felt. I'm sure you're reading this, shaking your head and laughing inside thinking "yeah, that sounds like you."
That is what all of this comes down to, instances like the last couple of lines that show how well we can read each other. Ever since we sparked up our first conversation online in Maryville to when we talked tonight after I got off of work, there hasn't been one time in between where I did not feel that bond with you. It's sort of like I've known you all my life. I know, very cheesy line, however it's very true as much as I hate to admit it. The line, not the sentiment. You're about one of three people in my life that no matter how long I've gone without speaking to I can always pick right up like we never missed a beat. And since you're the only one that isn't a guy, I can marry you since I'm straight. Lucky you.
With the inevitable closing in and the finality of the status of our relationship getting closer, I can tell you that I've never been more ready for anything in my life, ever. Everyone knows the term "cold feet" and all I can say about that is that my feet are ready to go. On that note, I'm wrapping up this email because it's a good place to end. Nothing grandiose, nothing over the top. Just closing it out like you'd expect me to. With my feet ready to go.
Love ya's!
Me
 | Currently watching : Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (Widescreen) Release date: 02 May, 2000  |
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