Current mood:
worried
Category:
Travel and Places I hate flying. Some people who have never flown in an airplane (yes "in" not "on." Think about that, who flies "on" a plane? Technically, you're in the plane.) claim that they are terrified of it. I'm not sure if that notion is completely unfounded, however if you've never done something how can you know for sure? That being said, I'm sure Russian Roulette is pretty damn scary even though I've never had the pleasure. Tomorrow at six in the AM I will be boarding a plane for Atlanta, Georgia then to Sarasota, Florida for a weekend vacation. I know I briefly mentioned this yesterday but I wanted to elaborate a little. So won't you have a seat and listen to my musings on flying?
I always loved to fly from when I was a little kid until after 9/11. I know we are supposed to be big, strong, and proud Americans and we are required to be overflowing with resolve in the face of adversity. That being said, that day may have damaged my opinion on flying forever. Do I think that Muslim Terrorists are going to hijack my flight from Kansas City to Atlanta? Not really, but it's not entirely based on the notion that I think crazy religious zealots are going to smash my flight into the Georgia Dome. It is more drenched in the fact that airplanes are not indestructible monuments to our creative technological advances. When I was a kid I didn't think that it could happen to me. Even after seeing that flight in 1989 crash land in Sioux City, Iowa. Big news in the Midwest back in the late 80's, maybe you missed it. Anyway, I've been on no less than a couple of dozen flights in my young life and up until a few years ago I didn't bat an eye at being 35,000 feet above the ground. I think movies like Fight Club and Castaway may have sent me over the edge also. I attempted to watch hours and hours of Delta Force thinking my own personal Chuck Norris would bail me out if shit got hot on a plane. Or even Sam Jackson, hell how about Wesley Snipes? Alas, these efforts did little to quell my new fear of flying.
Commercial airplanes are massive mechanical machines with tens of thousands of moving and operating parts. If any number of those fails and one of the plane's systems is rendered inoperable, then that equals a long fucking drop back to Earth. Like I said yesterday, it all comes down to control. Also, after flying enough the wonder of it all sort of goes away. Back to my control issues, if my car engine dies on the highway I can pull over, call AAA, and have my car towed and live to tell my friends about it. If both plane engines fail while flying I can't do much about it and I'm dead and I don't get to tell my friends about it. Much less enjoy a toll free call to a triple-A agent. To me that is scary. The crashing, not the AAA part.
I went to Puerto Vallarta two years ago. My flight left at around 7am and I drank heavily. It was on Frontier Airlines so they also had nifty satellite television with ESPN and pay per view. Ah, Sam Adams and SportsCenter. That was enough to save me that trip. Last summer Stephanie and I went to Las Vegas and a portable DVD player kept me occupied. This time, I'm bringing my iPod, Sony PSP, Nintendo DS, magazines, my day planner, and a book to keep me distracted. At least if I die I'll crash with some of my most prized material possessions. And Stephanie of course.
Of course, it's 99.9999% assured that I will get to Florida and back in tact and return to Kansas City on Monday evening. I'm a big believer in karma, and I will give you an example of why I believe in it.
My Mom, sister Alicia and I were leaving from Sioux Falls on a trip to see my grandparents in Mesa, Arizona over President's Day break while I was a senior in high school. First a little background. I was a surly child. I also talked a lot and like to play practical jokes on people. Sometimes I liked to play pranks on people whom I didn't even know. Second, do you remember what you were like at 17? Would you like getting up at 5am to get on a flight to go hang out with your grandparents on your birthday in the Mecca of blue hairs? If you answered yes, screw you, you're a liar. And your grandparents hate you. So by the time we got on the plane at 7am (remember this was pre-9/11 and you didn't have to arrive at the airport 7 ½ hours early) I was still tired and crabby. We were sitting by the wing and the lady in front of us kept going on and on and on and on and on (and on) about how scared she was to fly, and how something went wrong on every flight she'd ever been on. I decided I wanted to shut her up in my own special way. As we were taxiing (sp?) around the tarmac, I turned to my Mom and rather loudly said "geez, are those rivets on the wing supposed to be rattling around like that?" Needless to say the already on edge female in front of us went into a tailspin of bat shit crazy I had never seen the likes of and about had a seizure in front of the entire flight. The flight attendants had to come over and calm her down and the plane had to stop. She of course told the attendants some man behind her that claimed the wing was about to fall off. Then the pilots had to stop the plane, get a crew out to inspect the wing, and then the co-pilot had to tell me what a little fuckhead I had been up front. It was a little embarrassing and everyone on the plane hated me because I delayed a flight. Then again, how many of you can say you personally delayed a flight? My Mom didn't say a word to me. I think she was pretending that I wasn't her child, as she did on numerous occasions in her tenure raising me. I wasn't a bad child, just "fidgety" as my Grandmother phrased it.
This my friends, is called penance. What can I say, I am Catholic and I was born with a guilty conscience. They throw that in free with the original sin. How long is God going to punish me for this childish (yet still kind of funny) act? Probably until I don't think it's funny anymore. I don't laugh about it out loud when I think about it or tell the story, but there is a small part of me that still laughs on the inside.
Anyway, off to Florida I go tomorrow!
 | Currently listening :
The Loon
By Tapes 'n Tapes
Release date: By 25 July, 2006 |
1:50 PM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
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